Lost Father Of My Unborn Son Aug 21, 2010

[LostMyLove]

Branden Norfus was killed on August 21, 2010 due to violence. He was hit by two cars and the second carr dragged him over 1000 feet to his death. Branden was 26 years old and the love of my life. I was about 36 weeks pregnant at the time of his death. I am now almost 39 weeks and my due date is September 23rd which ironically is Branden's birthday. I have been having a very hard time facing the reality of what has happen and I still have this feeling that some way some how I can rewind time and go back and change what happened that night. it kills me to know that my son will never have the oppurtunity to meet his father. It kills me to know that Branden will never have the chance to hold his precious son. I am 22 years old and I have never been through anything as tragic as this. I have lost my grandparents but they were old and sick and it was still hard but they lived long healthy lives. I knew it was just their time and God was calling them. But with this I don't understand it because he was so young and it was unexpected and the fact I was 8 months pregnant. He was my everything. Everyday we were together since the day we met. And now I just feel alone and confused. I am still excited about my son being born but it is not the same way I felt when branden was here and we were both excited. Has anybody ever gone through something like this and if so please give me some advice. Cause I just don't know what to do with myself.

Here is the link from fox 6 news regarding the story...http://www.fox6now.com/news/witi-100826-meng-charges-filed,0,5480893.story

[Cheryl]

I am so sorry Branden died. You will need to be patient with yourself. Please let everyone both at home and at this site grieve with you and listen. Each time a new person posts I cry for them and the pain they feel. Please know that even though I don't know you, I understand the pain of losing the one you love and wish I could make it all go away.

[sunstreet]

I am so sorry that Branden died. Grief at times is all consuming and the pain unrelenting. All of us here understand. I encourage you to believe that you will survive and please to take good care of yourself.

Blessings,

Carol Ann

[kayc]

Lost,

I'm so sorry, you are the same age as my son. Do you have family nearby that could spend time with you? Yes there are other young people who have lost their mate, some were pregnant at the time too. You aren't alone, just keep coming here and voicing yourself. There was a gal named Chrissy that went through it a few years ago. There are some on here now and hopefully they'll see your post and respond. (((hugs)))

Kay

[LostMyLove]

Yes my family has been very supportive but yet the pain in still there. It has almost been a month and I want to to cry all the time but I don't think anyone really understands my pain. I feel since it has been three weeks that I am suppose to be stronger and it shouldn't hurt as much so I don't show my true feelings. I have stopped looking at pictures of him and watching videos of him because all I do is cry and I am tired of this feeling. Everyone tells me things happen for a reason and that he is in a better place now but at his age what could have been the reason to take him. The man who killed him knew what he was doing and he intentionally did it. This man posted a 25,000 dollar bail and is now living his life freely while Branden's family and myself are grieving non stop. He had three other sons. One is nine and he has twin boys that are two and now a unborn who he will never know. I just feel that it was a horrible way to die. I feel he suffered and no one was there next to him when he took his last breath. I just want to know why. I miss him so much and it is eating me alive to know I will NEVER get to hug or kiss him again. I have lost weight through these three weeks which of course is not good being 39 weeks. I haven't been eating well or sleeping. I feel so depressed and I pray that when my son comes I will feeel better rather than worse. But honestly I think I will feel even sadder knowing he's not here.

[Jennalee]

Oh honey! I'm so, so, so sorry. Your story hit home with me. I lost my 29 year old husband on the exact same day, August 21st. I HATE THAT DAY! It was a motorcycle accident. Ajay just loved his stupid motorcycle!! I'm just now getting info from the police that it wasn't Ajay's fault. Someone else ran a red light. Not that this changes the outcome, but it makes me feel a tad bit better. We had no children and I'm not pregnant, so I can't even begin to know everything you're going through. Just know I care a ton! Y'all are a beautiful couple, btw!!

[melina]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My brother died just weeks before his wife was due to give birth. It was with mixed feelings she went into labor. She takes great joy in her daughter, but the grief was very much there. Now three years later, she's coping and doing well. It will take time - but I know it hurts badly.

Melina

[kayc]

Wait, are you saying they INTENTIONALLY killed him? This was a homocide? You say the guy posted bail, so I'm assuming he was arrested for this...how can you get out on bail for killing someone?

I am so sorry! This was so horrible, you are so young and such a beautiful couple with what should have been the rest of your lives before you.

I also had a hard time looking at pictures, reading his notes, etc...I have put pictures up, taken them down, put them up, taken them down, etc. I finally reached the point where they brought me comfort, but in the beginning, it hurt tremendously to look at them. I say do whatever makes you most comfortable.

[LostMyLove]

Yes he intended to hit Branden and drag him. His girlfriend was in the passenger seat yelling to him that he was dragging someone but he never stopped. He eventually pulled him from under his car and dragged him to the gravel and left him to die alone. Its hurts so bad because that whole day Branden kept telling me he wanted to go ouut for his friends birthday and I didn't want him to go. Something told me to keep him home but he was so adamant on going out I gave up and let him go. Now that I think about it, it hurts so bad because I feel I could have changed the outcome of that night. His friends called around 215AM and said to come pick them up someone was shooting at the bar. But by time I got there Branden was gone. And the guy who killed him was able to post the money and is home with his family. makes you think twice about the justice system. When my son gets old enough to start asking questtions what do I tell him. How do I explain that his dad was killed by someone in such a tragic way. Why does my son have to grow up never knowing his father because this guy couldn't stop and think about what he was doing. I miss him so much and I don't think it will ever get easier because I have to look at our son everyday and think that Branden is missing every moment of him growing up. His first tooth His first word his first steps...Everything......Life is so crazy. I know God sends you obstacles to make you stronger but this was not suppose to happen....

[kayc]

this was not suppose to happen....

No it wasn't, I'm sorry, it's a horrible thing. I hope they prosecute the person that did this to the full extent and that even his money won't save him.

[MZM]

Im so sorry hun! This is just terrible!! So so young and the fact that you're expecting his son and he was murdered is just terrible!

Im so glad you foung this site...I found it a few weeks ago , it helps to post on here...

I lost my boyfriend of over 3 years (fiance' as our engagement was set for December) in an accident about 7 weeks ago. In that same accident was his little brother 18 years old, our 28 year old friend and 31 year old uncle... I can totally relate when you say that you still feel like you can change the outcome of that night. Thats how i still feel. I remember when I got that call from his mom...i still feel like i can change that outcome... I too have never experienced a tradgedy in my life like this before...so its been really really hard:( I cant imagine what you must be going through...

[Korina]

I am in tears just reading your story. While mine is not the same, there are similarities. My husband of 10 years (together for 20) died of alcohol addiction related infection while he was in rehabilitation. Our daughter was 4.5 months old.

What I can tell you is that it is going to be very hard to see other families together at first. But if your experience is anything like mine, it will get easier. Our daughter has been the reason for me to put one foot in front of the I other, and because I know that she was the most important part of our lives - the priority - I have a responsibility to be the best mom I can be. That has given me purpose.

It still kills me that I cannot share all the special moments with our daughter with Scott. He would have been so proud. But I truly believe he is with us, watching over us in whatever capacity he can. I miss him so very much. I have different ideas about how I can tell Kailyn about her Dad, such as stories from friends and family that she can read (still a project in the works).

I know it is hard try and not feel guilty, but there was no way you could have known something was going to happen. I have lots of woulda shoulda couldas, and while they have not gone away, I have tried to put them into perspective (otherwise, a person could go crazy).

I am glad your family is very supportive. As I type, we are across the country at my husband's mom's place, and will be leaving in a couple days to visit my family. I have maintained and fostered a very good relationship with my inlaws as first of all, they have been very supportive, but also because I know how much it means to them to see Kailyn, and it is very important to me that Kailyn knows her Dad's family.

I still cannot look at Scott's photos much, as it reduces me to a puddle. My mom advised me not to torture myself. I have a couple photos that I keep in plain sight that know comfort me, but have continued to avoid all the others for the most part. But others find comfort in photos. As with everything else, do what you feel is right. But I do not hesitate in showing Kailyn her Dad's photo so she will know who he is (and I often wonder if she can actually 'see' Scott when we adults cannot...).

Please make sure you eat and take care of yourself, and let your family help. Your precious baby will need you and them, and I know Branden will be helping you as best as he can, and will be proud of you for the rest of your life.

Korina