Holding On To Memories Of My Brother

[RandomThoughts]

My younger brother younger died on a Wednesday in November of 1998. He was my best friend in the whole entire world. The Sunday prior he and his wife came to visit me after church. We sat and talked for hours. He even brought with him a Snickers bar as a treat for me because he knew how much I loved Snickers. After he died, I could not bring myself to eat the Snickers bar. I kept it in my freezer for almost 3-4 years. Even when we moved to another apartment I took it with me to the new apartment freezer. I was paralyzed with fear of the thought that if I ate it, or threw it away after so long it would be like losing my brother all over again. Eventually, I guess I had some healing, and decided one day to throw it away because each and every time I looked in the freezer and saw it a pain would twinge at my heart. Just one day out the blue I decided he would not want me to be sad every time I looked at the daggone thing. I decided he would want me to remember the good times and fun we had growing up. So, I finally threw it away. I still think about that Snickers bar now and again, but it no longer brings me to tears when I think about it. Well, except for today while I am writing this. (smile) I just try to remember the good times I shared with my best friend, my confidant, my guru - my brother. I still miss him terribly. Nothing has been the same since he has been gone. When attending family functions it always feels like something is missing. never quite the same.

Thank you for letting me share.

[MartyT]

Such a beautiful and touching story ~ Thank you so much for sharing it with us ~ and please accept our deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved brother ♥

[nat]

Hi there,

I also have a chocolate cockie in my fridge from my brother if that helps , it has been a year today since he is gone and from time to time I just wander how long that cookie will inhabit my fridge. For now I am happy to have it there.

[elb]

I even have a finger paint my brother did for me when he was in nursery school and shirt the rabbi tore at the beginning of Shiva. I have everything my brother ever gave me in a box wrapped in acid free paper to keep everything preserved.

[niamh]

I'm glad I'm not the only one which I definitely thought I was with this. I have a chocolate bar I had brought to my Dad in hospital on his last night, junk food was all he had the last few days because they just were not giving him food so I would bring some goodies into him.

I still have the bar although it went out of date only a few weeks back but I can't just throw it out.

I also hold onto the wrappers from his last 2 favourite bags of chips he had at home probably reading a book or watching a football game

[waltermeyer]

No one should question how they are grieving. Even others who know what it's like to grieve. And what's normal? Who says? It meant something to you, and the others it still means something to you. Who's writing the book on what's normal? Probably someone as crazy as we sometimes feel. Just grieve and do whatever makes it easier to get through one more day. You can only take something like grief day by day. Sometimes less. Maybe someday you will throw away your dads bags of chips, or your brothers chocolate chip cookie. Maybe you won't. But remember no one is in your shoes exactly. We can relate. But only you know everything about your feelings no matter how much we dump out on these forums. God bless whoever started forums for us all to communicate with people who share a common sorrow. Someone who doesn't think your crazy when you tell them you have a four year old snickers bar in your freezer. Just do your thing. And make decisions day by day that are good for YOU. Only you can do that and it's so important. That's just my opinion.