Soldiering On

[PopPop]

Well, it's three months since I suddenly lost Robin and while I continue to soldier on for the sake of my family I'm starting to wonder if I can continue to do this. For the longest time my family role was and still is being strong and supportive. I'm trying to persevere in this for my daughter, grandchildren, and elderly mother but lately I'm feeling like the foundation is slipping away. How am I supposed to continue on without my #1 ally, cheerleader, and sometimes harshest critic? Thanks for hearing this emotional basket case of a 45 year old grown man.

[nats]

PopPop,

I feel the stress you are feeling at times I also wonder how we go on, but we must, our spouses would want that, I seek my strength in God and my faith and the fact that Ruth is with me spiritully very strong at times, with that I move on, don't get me wrong I have many rough days of crying but it helps....I pray things will ease for you and you may find some comfort....

NATS

[kayc]

PopPop,

You're three months out...I'm that plus five years...yes, you can keep doing it, even when you feel like you can't, it's not always easy or fun, but it does get more tolerable. We never stop missing them, never. But we learn to live with it.

[Cheryl]

Everyone hits feelings at diffirent points. I can tell you that I spent many hours pleading with god to just let me be with my husband. I didn't care if it was his doing or mine. I just wanted the pain to end. This thought came and went many times over the first year. I can tell you that it was at it's worst when the fog began to lift at the three months. All the horror of what happened hit me full force and I was all alone, my friends had returned to their lives and no one understood. My husbad died in an accident, we talked just an hour before he died. I won't say it's harder for me. I will say I have felt more of a shock and was less prepared for anything. We were having a normal day and then POOF, everything exploded into pure hell on earth. But I see a future now. It's glimmering and I think it will be okay. Give yourself time. Let yourself feel empty, alone and scared. Let yourself feel like you want to die. It is part of grieving and it will help you find a way out. Try to believe that you will win this battle and please continue to share what you feel. Cheryl

[Korina]

Your wife obviously believed in you while she was with you; that doesn't end because she is no longer here. That said, give yourself a break at times to feel your grief, to talk about it whether here, in a face to face group, to trusted friends or family. You need to take care of yourself, not just everyone around you.

Korina