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Christmas Will Be A Little Different


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I can't skip this one! I have a nine year old and he's excited, just as every year, which kind of makes it somewhat 'normal'. I've decided we will decorate as we do every year. I haven't decided what I'll do differently because it will involve the usual gift giving; however the tone will be different without Clint. My son and I definitely feel the void, regardless of whatever else is going on, so I've got to figure a way to incorporate this loss somehow. I guess I could hang a stocking for him, but I wonder if that would be too much... We usually opened presents (very early) on Christmas morning, but it's going to seem so strange this time. I do like the idea of lighting a candle, so maybe we'll do that in observance of the love we have for each other, and remembering a loving, kind, man who was taken away from us much too soon.

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I am happy for you that you have your son. I don't think hanging a stocking is to much at all. Although I do not have a nine year old to consider. This will be the first Christmas that I haven't skipped. I plan to hang my stocking and Melissa's. I have no-one to fill my stocking so I am filling it myself with little things I need. I hung the stockings the other night when I put the tree up and I have been wrting on cards to Melissa and sharing my thoughts and feelings with her and puting them in her stocking. Afterwards, I will put these cards and words into my memory album that I started a while back. Don't know if this is a fit for you but wanted to share my thoughts. I also light a candle, a big three wick candle that I got after Melissa died. I got a three wick candle, once wick represents Melissa, one wick for myself, and one wick for "us"

Thinking of you as you weather this season.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

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We hung George's stocking that first year and each put a note in it to him...it seemed a good way of keeping him in our celebration. I had a tradition of buying a new ornament for each of us every year and I bought one for him that I knew he'd like, representing our home in the mountains.

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Yes it will, Ruth and I had a special time during Christmas and I'm now feeling the intsense reality she won't be home for Christmas...I know she is with me daily as I feel her presence and sends me signs, but it's so rough thinking of the Holiday without her....I walked thru Wal-Mart's Christmas decorations yesterday and had a total meltdown, sometimes I wonder how I can be so strong yet so weak....she sent me a message to put out a few special things and she let me know which tree she wanted while I was there a small Indiana Fur....so I am going to face this as I have everyting else, head on as I know she will be sad if I don't...I am planning a vacation with my new companion to the Keys the day after so I guess decorating small makes sense so I don't have a lot of work to do when I return.....Yes I have met someone whom I have connected and her wth me as well but the grief we both feel for our spouses is still very real, but it's so nice to have someone to share the feelings and offer comfort.....

NATS

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Nats, I have heard that people who've lost partners make good couples because they can share their losses. I also learned that at my support group there are numerous people who have remarried, but still attend grief support for the deceased former spouse! The loss of someone is a forever thing, even when you move on to find another. I find this part of the process fascinating. While I really can't consider moving on to that extent, at least not right now, it's good to know that it is possible at some point. Finding someone who will understand the importance of the prior partner would be difficult though, I'd assume. I don't know. I already have people who believe I should be getting over my fiance's death, it's only been a month--so I can imagine the difficulty finding an understanding mate--

I'm happy for you...

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