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Because you Loved Me ~ it is our song ~ I played it at Melissa's funeral ~ It says it all for me.

Some background, the last moment I spent with Melissa alive was the morning of December 25, 2003 and before I left for work that day she wanted to slow dance to ~ our song ~ I am so grateful that we did as when I returned from work, I found her sleeping in bed already ( at least that is what I expected and thought) I quietly crawled into bed beside her so as not to wake or disturb her and I let myself sleep. I woke in the night, got up to get a glass of water. Whenever I did this Melissa, would wake and come to the kitchen, put her arms around me, and say "you OK babe, another bad nightmare?" She did not wake and come this night. I went back to the bedroom and went round her side of the bed as she was facing that way to give her a gentle kiss on her forehead thinking she was just very tired. She did not wake ever again. I try to focus only on the slow dance to our song from that Christmas, that year.

I can share this with you all because I feel safe with you all. I feel accepted. I feel love from you all. I want to share the most sacred and special person to me with you and what are last moment in life was like. We were slow dancing in our living room, with the fireplace burning. Today, when I got home from the dentist, I turned the fireplace on, started ~ our song~ and slow danced with my cat, closed my eyes and thought of my Melissa. Thank you all for helping me to heal so much that I could do this and feel nothing but peace and warmth and able to release some tears that have needed to come from the very depths of my soul, you all have helped me feel safe enough to finally be able to release those tears, wonderfully healing tears.

I might not be on as much the next few days. The root canal, ended up being more dental surgery. I need to rest up for the parole hearing, as it will take all I can muster.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

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Because you Loved Me

Perfect song, Carol Ann. Thank you for sharing so much. I agree, people here can be trusted. We are all in the same boat throwing life preservers to each other. mfh

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Carol Ann,

A beautiful song for two beautiful people. I closed my eyes and saw two angels dancing to the music.

You are unbelievably strong and have so much courage to be able to share the horrible things you and Melissa have gone through. I respect you for that and hope that sharing your story is making the pain lessen.

Hope you feel better soon and can.. No, I know you WILL find the strength you need for the hearing.We're all rooting for you.

Lainey

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Carol Ann,

I read your post several times. 1st, I cried because I feel your sorrow for the loss of your Melissa. Then I smiled believing that Melissa wanted to give you a good memory of the two of you dancing to your song to hold on to. Although it's bittersweet, it's also beautiful.

You are an inspiration to me. You are a strong lady and I know that you will get through this rough time.

Take care my friend,

Laurie

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Steve, thank you so much!

Mary, thank you so much, for sure I agree throwing life preservers to each other!

Rachel, thank you so much!

Marsha, thank you so much!

Di, Thank you so much! You all are my inspiration! You all are brave!

Lainey, thank you so much, two beautiful angels dancing...thank you for that image. I am strong, even when I feel weak, as it takes strength to move through our weak moments. I feel we are all strong here, we have all had to endure the loss of our love and that takes such strength to carry on! Thank you for knowing I will find the strength for the parole hearing......and I will.

Laurie, I feel tremendous sorrow still. Thank you and I agree Melissa did want me to have that moment to remember and it is extremely bittersweet!

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

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Dear Allana,

Thank you so much! You are remakable as well! Thinking of you.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

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