Lost Sister And Pet

[Brendag]

I lost my siter to breast cancer. I was able to be with here the last couple of weeks of her life. This was in May 2010. I felt so helpless because I could not fight the battle for her. All I could do is take care of her 24/7 and watch her die. Here it is eight months later. I am still grieving my sister and I had to put my dog of ten years to sleep Jan 12, 2011. The lost of my pet is very hard because I had to put him down because he was so sick. I held him why the vet put him to sleep. I hate being at home. the house is so empty with out him. I think God is mad at my family. My cousin passed away the saturday before my pet. Does life get to be good again? I miss my sister and pet so much. How do I keep moving forward in life. I love them both so very much. My life feels so empty, lonely and sad.

Someone please help

[LostmyHoney]

Im so very sorry for your losses, I don't think God is mad at your family, but I can relate to feeling that way. As time goes on you will adjust. You have found a safe place to talk about whats on your mind. The people here are all going through some kind of loss just like you and we understand your pain. Keep coming back and even if all you do is read the posts of others thats ok. Just know that any time you need to vent we are here for you.

Rachel

[kayc]

I am so sorry for your loss. i can't think of anyone I would dread losing more than my dog, he is my favored companion. I'm sorry you lost your sister, and then your cousin too, that is a lot of losses within a few months. No, God is not mad at you or your family, I'm sure His heart is breaking for your pain. the bible says it rains on the just and the unjust...in other words, things happen, they happen to us all, and it has nothing to do with how right or wrong we are, it's just rather random. A lot of time people look for answers or meaning where there is none and that just frustrates them. Rather than look for the "why", ask yourself "what now", because now is the focus. We can't change the past but we do get stuck dealing with the present. Try not to look too far ahead, which can be overwhelming, but take a day at a time, which is enough right now. Whatever brings you comfort, do that. You will grieve in your own time and your own way, and it will be right for you...don't let anyone minimize your sense of loss by telling you you should be over it. People sometimes feel they should say something but don't know what to say so they say something stupid...try to accept the spirit in which it was intended rather than the stupidity with which it comes out...if you can realize ahead of time you will have this to deal with, maybe it won't come as such a shock when it happens...and hopefully you will be the exception and won't have to experience that.

I can think of nothing worse than losing a dog, they are our faithful companions, there for us when no one else is, they love unconditionally and provide us so much companionship. I just posted an article in a separate post here, I thought it was good. Allow yourself time to grieve and know that your pain is merely a tribute to how special this dog was to you. We grieve in direct proportion to our loss. It's okay to feel pain, it's okay to cry, and it's okay to feel angry about it. You can even get mad at God about it if it helps you...he has big shoulders, he can take it. And when time has gone by, little by little, you'll realize God was there all the time and wanted to hold you. Sometimes we just have to get through things our own way. I've learned in grieving that there is no way to circumvent the pain, and pain makes us uncomfortable, but it's a necessary part of the grief journey and there's no way but straight through it. In time it will lessen in intensity, and although you will always remember, love, and miss your dog (and your sister), the days when you cry or hurt beyond belief will lessen. It's kind of like three steps forward, two steps backward but you have to realize that overall you are moving forward in a progressive fashion, even on the days when you seem to go backwards and it doesn't feel like it.

Please keep coming here and posting and reading, it helps to get your feelings out. There are grief support groups that might be of help as well. Sometimes it helps to know you are not alone in what you are going through.

I wish I could reach out and give you a hug.

[Teddy and Toby's mom]

I am so sorry about your sister. That is a big fear I have, losing my favorite sister. Your heart must be so sad. My favorite sis is 8 years older than me (we are in our 60's) and I worry constantly about the possibility of losing her.

I lost my partner on Aug 30. Ten days later, my brother in law was killed, he was the husband to my favorite sister. That same day I had to send my beloved Teddybear of 15 years to be with God in heaven. He was my most faithful companion in the entire world. Then, his twin poodle brother was grieving himself to death and two months and one day later, both of my loved pets were gone.

I cry constantly. I don’t know who I am crying about, I just cry. Sometimes I think God wants our loved ones to have a pet in heaven and that is why a pet is called home near the death of a family member. My partner and my brother-in-law were both Marines. I said it would take two 7 pound, feisty little poodles to keep them company while they guard the gates of heaven. Her cat is there and both my dogs. And I can’t wait to join them, I don’t care what anyone says.

Please, find a pet loss support group. I thought everyone would roll their eyes at me for whining about so much loss, after all this was supposed to be a pet loss group. But then, everyone started opening up and telling about losing a pet near the same time as a member of the family.

After my first time, I went home and picked out my favorite scrapbook pages for each dog and framed it. Now I can look at them and it makes me smile to remember when I took the pics. Oh, I miss them so much!

I am looking forward to going to the next support group meeting.