beakerj Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Hi, it's me again. It's now 8 weeks since my Mum died, & I have been doing better in lots of ways. I'm eating again, & have driven a bit & stuff...my meds have definitely kicked in & are making me feel more 'normal'. I do have a significant history of anxiety, pre my Mum's death, I would describe myself as a recovering sufferer of 'panic disorder with avoidance', that is: avoids going places/getting into situations in which I might have a panic attack but can't get out etc.But was well enough to be working,15 hours a week as a Youth Worker & getting on with normal life etc. My anxiety levels have obviously been hugely high since my Mum died, especially since my faith (Christian) took a massive & unexpected hit through all this, with a lot of fears about God not really being good & so on. At the moment I'm having all sorts of weird thoughts popping into my head, & all sorts of stupid anxieties on my mind - a good example of this is worrying I'm pregnant (which I don't want to be) despite using protection properly (aaargh, TMI, so sorry), & it being a good few weeks before I could take a test. It seems like anything with a risk, i.e. husband drives off to work, dog makes weird coughing noise, brother takes plane to Australia, makes my nervous system react totally out of proportion & I have to work really hard to divert myself. I just feel like a loon, it seems like that any subject that comes up, something in my brain has to push it & probe it to see where there's something to be anxious about. I know I still feel sensitised to the ordinary world, sad & bad things just leap out at me, & I can't watch or read the things I usually would. Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? It's hard enough dealing with other things without my forever getting my knickers in a twist over every possible risk... Thanks for listening again! I'm finding it very very useful just to know you are all out there somewhere. Big love Becka XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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