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Dear Senior,

I wish so much that I could tell you that it goes away, but at 13 months after losing my Dad I'm in the same boat you are. :closedeyes: I've been told a hundred times " Oh, it will get better", and "Time heals", Well I can't see that, Right now I feel like for as long as I live I will grieve deeply for my Dad, I have trouble even imagining the rest of my life without him. I'm sorry, It's not the answer you were hoping for to your question, but at least you know you're not alone.

Love, and Peace to you,

Jodi -_-

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I'm with Jodi Senior, I am just over 13 months in and I still feel that emptiness so much, sometimes it's worse than others, somedays I just "deal" with it, sometimes it crushes me so much I feel like every part of me wants to just burst open with the pain.

For me I think I will just have to live with this for the rest of my life, I can't ever imagine not feeling this big hole in me, in my life, I can't ever imagine not aching for my Dad to be physically with me.

((hugs))) to you


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I hate to be the 3rd person to bear the bad news but, I must agree with Jodi and Niamh. I am 14 months and 4 months since mom then dad passed. In the early months, numbness set in and I just went through the motions then it changed for me, at some point, into disbelief. I ask myself often "Is this it? I'm never going to see them again?" The questions run through my head all the time. I think as more time goes by you begin to realize its finality.

I am told that the pain never goes away, it just changes. Changes into what? I wish I knew.

You can come to this site and share anytime. It does seem to help knowing that someone, anyone has or does feel similarly as you.

Peace to you.


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IMO, no. I feel gutted, and there's always this lost and empty feeling. It's just that sometimes I am distracted and don't think of it as much, but the emptiness is still there. I equate it to having a permanently broken arm or something. Sometimes I can distract myself so I don't think about it, but it's always there nonetheless.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you, everyone. I did not think the emptiness would ever go away but I was hoping. I just have to figure out how to deal with it. So far, distractions do not seem to work. I keep expecting to see mom on the couch and I often turn around to make a comment about a TV show or something else or I start to call her from the kitchen but she is not there.

I'm having trouble getting myself to clean out her room. It feels like I'm throwing her out. We lived together.

As old as I am, I still have to work (I work from home), which gave me less time with mom than I wanted to have. Now, I have more time but I do not have the person I needed the time for. It's like some horrible irony or Shakespearean tragedy.

thank you again for your responses

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Senior, I hear you expecting to see your Mom, I still have moments that yes it's my Dad in the car coming home. I have times especially the days coming up to the 17th every month where I think "how can I not be going to the hospital today to see my Dad".

I'm sorry you're having trouble cleaning out her room, all I would say is if you're not up for it, not ready for it, no need to do it just yet. The only reason some of my Dad's things were cleaned out was because my Mom needed to do it, but I held onto way more than she knows. It she hadn't done it I would still have left things as they were. She couldn't open the wardrobe and see his clothes and I can't open it now seeing hers and not seeing all his things.

wishing you some peace and comfort


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Hello Everyone,

It has been almost 11 months now since my mom passed.

I still feel in shock. Still, I live in this sadness.

I am able to function, laugh, work, teach...all good things.

I decided to invest in my life so I am trying.

But I want my mom. I miss her so very much.

I would be happy to die, honestly, I will welcome it.

So, sorry, nothing new!

I am sure this does not cheer any one up!

Just know, we are all connected in this,

and are here for each other.

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