Leaving Our Home, Sad Yet Happy

[nats]

Cheryl,

Thank You my friend, we have so many adjustments to make during this journey of grief....I have wondered how people feel

as I have mentioned Brenda and our journey.... jealous never crossed my mind but it makes sense now that you have mentioned it,

is it that you wish you had someone type of jealous?...I have reflected on things and it comes down to we moved to fast and I created

stress on her with my anxiety regarding all my issues with moving among other things, and she came from an abusive past of 27 years, never loved like I have shown her, she never held hands with her husband or no public affection he was controling and overprotective so she was/is overwhelmed with the type of Love I show her a woman should have....lots of attention, friendship, understanding, and passion....we have spoken everyday since and she is going to stop in tonight as we have reached an agreement to move slowly ahead and regroup with no routines....after all we have nothing to loose and much to gain...

NATS

[Cheryl]

NATS,

I have been jealous that you have someone to hold and love while you also mourn. I fantasize that it must be less painful when you are distracted by new love, warm embraces and an understanding heart to share grief with. Maybe envious is a better word!

I am so happy to hear that you are both talking your way through the changes and I pray that you are able to continue on this journey together.

Take care, Cheryl

[Lainey]

Nats,

I'm so sorry to hear that you and Brenda are having differences right now. On top of your grief and having to leave the house you and Ruth shared, this is something to add to your stress.

You sound like a very loving, caring ,genuine person and for Brenda's sake I hope she can see that. Being in a relationship like hers might have made her just a bit cautious. Keep working on it, you both deserve it.

I must confess that when you began posting about your new found friendship, I also got jealous. I know that I am not ready for any type of relationship, but sometimes I wish I had a male friend to talk to, go to a movie or dinner. I enjoy having a good conversation with men once in a while.

Lainey

[nats]

Cheryl and Lainey,

I do indeed understand the jealous part as now that we have/are regrouping I'm jealous of what we had just weeks ago, it for sure has triggered a new set of grief waves for me, and I'm somewhat lost now that we do not have a routine, which is such a big part of why we all grieve so intensly I think because we no longer have that daily routine with our spouses....thanks for your kind thoughts both of you, my advise to anyone who has found a new special person is to take it slow, friends first, because I feel if you have that friendship your relationship will be much stronger and a better chance of surviving these turbulances that occur, because there are/will be rough days even with the new person as in my case, Brenda is not used to someone who truts her and allows her freedom, and she perceives the routine as control...an issue she had with her husband...but I will just take it day by day, and be more aware of her feelings and pray we work thru this....take care both of you it's always great to hear from you both....

NATS

[Queeniemary]

Nats, I do hope everything works out well with you and Brenda. But even if it does not, and there are no guarantees in life, as we know, she did help you through some bad times, and made them a little easier perhaps for you. And I am sure that you helped her also. Praying that you both are able to work through this bump, and taking it slowly will be able to rebuild. AND I also do understand the jealous part that others have talked about. Although I cannot imagine anyone but Michael in my life, I so miss that special someone to spend time with, sit on the porch watching it rain with, and to go places with. Friends are great and supportive, but that does not quite do it. Ya just want to be special to one person over all others!

Your friend,

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[nats]

Mary,

Yes what you say is so true...I am so thankful I have had her and I look at the whole picture and Ruth has not even been gone 2 years yet, I still have issues and Brenda as well, as her husband was so in control and untrusting...we both have agreed to love each other and still have our time to grieve and be independent, we are still seeing each other I had Easter dinner with the family and grandchildren, she did go out with someone else for dinner the other evening and that was uncomfortable when she told me but, I must give her the space she needs or risk loosing a very special bond forever, I think she is trying me to see how I react before a solid commitment is made as she does not want to end back in the same thing she had before, only God knows and I just take each day as I'm given it, I am learning not to plan ahead and look forward to the future because it seems it never comes.....so I will try and be happy each day, thanking God for each day, enjoy the time I do have with Brenda, love my dogs, enjoy my new home, be thankful for my good health, happy I have a job, be nice to others, pass the word of the Lord, and just wait for the day God decides to call me home...and trust me I will be so Happy as I will be in the Kingdom Of God with Jesus all my Loved Ones.....and that is the future I'm certin will come....

NATS