3 Month Anniversary.. Dad

[Lilac]

I feel so lost.. tomorrow's my dad's three month anniversary..

he's the first death in the family for me and my sister.. I live across the country so I didn't spend as much time w/him .. when he got sick did I fly back and spent time w/him but his cancer grew so aggressively that he couldn't talk or see, we don't even know if he comprehended who we were.. it's heart breaking I feel like I haven't spoken to my dad in months and when he was going to leave, we couldn't talk to him about it or know if he was in pain or suffering or if hew as scared or angry..

now i'm back home and the pain's just getting worse and worse.. my friends are giving me crap about leaving my mom "too soon" even though she's handling it better than I am and was the one who told me I could go .. and I feel I have no one to talk to . Trying to get myself to do normal things, but I can't even look for a job now even though I really need one..

i dont know what to do

[SHeiss]

I just passed the 5 month mark of my dad's death the 3rd of this month and last month was his 48th Birthday. I understand what you are feeling right now. I too stepped away from my mom after it happened because I needed me time. I wish your friends would understand that you need to do what is best for you right now. Everyone grieves in their own way. I chose to be alone and use music to soothe my mind. So far it hasn't gotten better as much as it is just getting easier to cope with. I haven't been online in a while, but I can tell you that this site has helped me immensely. I hope you find comfort here too.

[Lilac]

Hi Sheiss,

Thanks for responding, I'm glad there's something who understands what I went through and the need to have some "me" time to sort through feelings. I'm sorry to hear about your father. I hope you find more releases that can help you cope. Was your mother/friends understanding when you needed "me" time?

[Tom19]

Hi, I've never lost anyone in my life really and so I don't really understand what you're going through. My ex girlfriend's (we split up 2 months after her Dad passed away) Dad passed away on the 22nd February this year and so I'm just trying to see and understand what she is going through as it's something I can't understand, and can only apologise for my ignorance. My ex doesn't talk to me anymore but she knows I'll be there if she wants me, she can be with friends but her Mum tells me that she isn't dealing with her Dad's death very well. I'm just trying to get an understanding by reading topics and posts like yours.

I'm ever so sorry that your Father's passed away.