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At 8 weeks and 1 day this is the best i have felt since March, still not laughing like i once did, but am eating everything in site today, my appettite has been at maybe 50% of usual I love to eat, or use to......was doing great until my boss asked how I was doing and told her of my day and how I still feel him around, her innocent comment was that I will feel that way until Mike feels it is ok to move on.......I immediately began to sob, and felt as bad as I did the night I lost him, surely he will stick around for alot longer, surely he cant think that since I was feeling better that it is ok not to be around me...and to move on. I am in a panic! I am really believing in signs that I have seen since he left and have started to feel comfort in spiritual ideas/thoughts.I swear I have felt something brush up against me at home, the lights have all been messed with at home, I have times that i smell him.....surely this wont end I need this......I CANNOT lose touch with these things right now...has anybody else experienced this? are there books about this? this is a major setback for me almost scared to feel better if this what occures....dave

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I am so sorry this happened. Your boss does not know that Mike will move on when it is ok, whatever that means. Your boss does not know any more than any of us know. I rely on belief and I do believe Bill is here. I believe that Bill is around me and will be around me until we are re-united. I know people who have gotten signs two and three years after losing a loved one and the signs are impossible to dispute. I can't share them as they were told to me in confidence but I do believe that the dead are with us, around those who love them and who they love. The closest I can come to actual evidence (science and spirituality ARE merging finally) is Bruce Lipton's work

http://www.soundstrue.com/podcast/bruce-h-lipton-phd-what-our-cells-can-teach-us/?#bottom

He is a cell researcher. Worked at UW-Madison for years doing cell research and speaks at various universities and other places. His theory (and I THINK Deepak Chopra's theory) is that our consciousness/identity is "out there" and like a signal to a tv animates our bodies and when we die it is just the body that dies, not the consciousness/identity. Like turning off a TV, the signals are still in the room. As far as I am concerned, I KNOW Bill would be with me if he can and I believe he can and is. If I am being fooled, it still feels best to go this route as nothing else has convinced me otherwise. And if I am being fooled....I won't know the difference after death. I have books on Life After Life and Near Death Experiences (Moody, Jeff Long MD ) that might be helpful. Just google their names. Long has the NDERF near death experience research foundation. Moody has been researching life after life for years. I believe we go on and if we do, I believe we hang out where our loved ones are...maybe other places also but for sure where our loved ones are. Quantum physics talks about parallel universes, 10 dimensions...things OUR minds can not comprehend. It comes down to belief right now but science is catching up. I hope my input is comforting. It is just what I believe. I have read about 35 books on grieving and life after life and this entire area since Bill died. It is comforting to me. Peace, Mary

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I don't know the scientific side but I know that I feel a peacefulness and comfort that I could only feel when my husband was with me. I have never done well without my husband. My sister told my son this right after the funeral. She said " your mom doesn't do well without your dad". I always had anxiety attacks if I was away from him for more than a day. He was my rock. I miss him so much and would give anything to be with him, no I'm not suicidal. But I feel the comfort that I could only get when he was with me & can't explain it. Some would say that I am still in shock. I am still in shock even after 4 1/2 months. I have had some good days and he still is with me. I know that, I couldn't feel comforted by him if he wasn't. I always got excited when he would come home from being gone for the day, even after 32 years of marriage I looked forward to seeing him. I would love to see him again and have to believe I will again some day. I think he is still with me even though I have had some good days. He knows me and that I still need him so I don't think he will leave me. Your boss has no idea what they are talking about. We all experience this differently and she can't know how you experience this.

Blessings and have a better day!

Pat

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Guest Nicholas

Dave, we are all on a journey; whether Mike is still around you or not, I am not in a position to say, nor qualified to do so. Have you ever looked into the subject of rebirth? Ian Stevenson wrote a series of fascinating books on this topic*.

Nicholas

*Recommended book

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