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One Artist's Heart Through Another

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November 6, 2011

It was my first trip to The Portland Art Museum this weekend which brought out the long lost feelings of the "fine artist" in me. My education as a graphic designer led me down another path but let's be honest here… a secret desire to paint like one of the masters would certainly be the ultimate long lost dream now wouldn't it? Who wouldn't want that kind of talent? I was overwhelmed by all the Masters displayed in The Portland Museum like, Monet, Rodin, Cézanne, Rembrandt, Matisse, and Picasso. The Portland Art Museum, has just recently displayed "The Ox-Cart," an 1884 painting by Vincent van Gogh. It's the only painting by the revered Dutch artist in the collection of a Northwest museum; it is valued at a couple of million dollars. If interested you can follow this link: http://blog.oregonli...n_portland.html

Energy and motion, the creation of visual art and sound, it's all around us. Music I believe is the very vibration of the human soul. The poet's words, the song writer's melody together combined will fill our hearts in gladness … the human soul and heart in union. Writing, journaling, blogging is another creative endeavor that takes others outside themselves, away from their everyday lives. Color, texture, mixed media… the artist struggles with psyche and body and is determined to finish his/her creation relieved at the same time of the stress and joy which surrounds him/her. It's a mad world, and sometimes as an artist their soul trembles as it struggles wildly to express its creation. Whether it is a success or failure the creative energy released is passed along for one and all.

Our history is full of such stories full of creativity, some successful some full of misfortune. I do believe though that each one of us is blessed with a creative gift of some kind, some spark of energy that brings light into our lives and to those around us. What makes your heart sing? What brings you joy? Sometimes it's just a matter of another person reminding you of the very thing that makes your eyes light up, making you excited about your day. Creativity can be wrapped up in all kinds of packages but the main idea is that we can each be happy and artistic.

I still find it hard to listen to song lyrics and melodies when my heart is lying in a thousand little pieces before me. My world at home as I knew it was destroyed and along with it all its glorious light. Without its light I have no color to live by and my heart waits for something I don't quite understand yet. This trip to the museum reminded me of broken dreams and unfinished projects at home. I did find that another piece of my heart went into place this weekend as I realized all was not lost in my dreams, I am myself just an unfinished project waiting to be finished…

Slowly the color is coming back into my life; the song is being heard again in my heart. It may not be what it once was or it may be different I don't know yet but I do know the light is coming back and I welcome the change.

One soul to another,


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Dear Deb,

That is a beautiful painting. I can see your light coming back all the way out here in Massachusetts. By the words you speak with a powerful meaning behind them. You are a gifted person. We all have our own types of gifts we were given in life. My is in helping others. I radiate a light that draws people near my, who just want to be around me.

I found out That I can laugh again in this new life, and it is ok. Laughter is a very good healing thing to do. It takes time to get there, but when you reach a place in this new life, and be able to laugh again is a joy est moment back into the land of the living.

I have found my inner peace with myself knowing that I had done everything I could have, but yet I long for her human contact again. Knowing I will never have that again, I have found new things, and very different thing to engage in, that brings me joy. Singing in my church choir is a real enjoyment. Meeting new people, even if it is for just a brief moment, brings me back to life.

I really like that you were able to enjoy the great works of art again. Each positive step forward we make, brings back the light of life again.

You know music is the one thing that touches us deep in our soul. We all can bring back favorite songs, that have a happy memories attached with them. Names, faces, we may forget over time. I by no means refer, to our lost loved ones, but someone you may have met years ago, but yet we all remember, a song from our childhood. Deb is that one of your paintings? If so you are very talented. :)

Here is something that will put a smile back onto any face. :lol:

God Bless



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Dear Deb

What a lovely and meaningful post. You are also an artist with words and thoughts. The new Chazen Art Museum (http://www.chazen.wisc.edu/) on the UW campus just opened an addition in Madison that doubled its space and the building itself is a work of art let alone housing an incredible collection. I have been told it might be an art museum of international significance and certainly the best on a university campus. Incredible collections. A friend of mine has trained for two years to be a docent there and is taking our watercolor group (Local Color) through on a tour soon. I started taking watercolor lessons soon after Bill died and am a part of a group who are ALL WAY ahead of me but generous with their skills and talents. I find sitting to paint to be a healing experience and a cathartic one. I have just completed three paintings (two copies of those done by pros) and am on my fourth. I have not found my niche yet but who cares. It is a challenge to make myself sit but once in the chair, I really get lost in it and that alone is healing. I am starting a drawing from the right side of the brain class this week. I do hope you can get the paints out and just dive in...not wait until those thousands of pieces of you that are scattered everywhere come together in some new way. The painting, for me, is a road to healing and finding a few pieces in the pile that fit together. I find myself, through tears many times, studying color in nature.

Like you, I can barely listen to music...especially Mahler (our favorite guy). I had to pass on joining the Messiah chorus here (a fundraiser for the food pantry) due to tears that do not stop when classical music and certain other pieces are within ear range. But the painting seems quieting to me. A friend just gave me the gift of a studio, renovating my 3 season room...unbelievable gift to "help me feel better"...complete with a gas stove for fire....it is under construction and I look forward to spending time there....it is the ONLY thing I truly look forward to but it is a start. Creativity, nature, spirituality and people including my dog are about all that bring me any semblance of peace these days.

I attended a Mindfulness Silence Retreat this past weekend led by two incredible women both of whom have their own stories...one a retired Madison cop...who now teaches social justice and mindfulness to cops. Though difficult in many way, tearful also, overall it renewed my motivation to begin my meditation practice again which got set aside when I needed it most in taking care of Bill for many years before he died.

Thank you for sharing this post and your thoughts. You are also an artist with words! Notice the quotes in my signature. You will appreciate them :) though I see I need to make some repairs to the spacing.


Mary mfh

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Thank you for sharing that with us! I always wanted to go to the Portland Art Museum...my ex used to live up there and when I'd go up there, I'd want to do things like that but he preferred biker bars and the such...don't ask me how we got together, we had nothing in common! I, too, love art, and enjoy that atmosphere. We have a art gallery in this town, tiny, but wonderful, and I've displayed my hand made cards there. They used to have something different happening on Friday or Saturday nights...maybe a reading, or someone making busts of torsos and painting them, or someone telling us about their work (art), or maybe a wine tasting. It was always fun to get together with others that appreciated art! I believe there is a creative side in each of us and it's important to get in touch with it and let those juices flow! Maybe when you retire you can take the time to try your hand at painting...you might be surprised at how good you are! My former fiance, Jim, was an artist...he graduated from an art college here in Oregon (it's now out of business, the owner died in a plane crash) and he owned "First Impressions" in Eugene for many years...he did the drag strip route, air brushing cars (that was before "wraps" did to the business what manufacturing did to hand craftsmanship), making signs, t-shirts, caps, you name it. He said every artist needed a venue, some way in which to earn a living, so they wouldn't be a "starving artist"...very few make a profitable living at the "fun expressive types of art". My sister displayed very artistic tendencies when she was young but she didn't want to be broke so she pursued a more stressful tedious line of work, squelching her artistic abilities and in the process, developing TMJ, hip problems, eye problems etc. I finally got her to try her hand at making cards just for the fun of it and for the first time in years and years, she's expressed her creativity, it's been a very good form of relaxation for her. It's not the end product that is as important as letting that part of you express itself. If you enjoy doing it and anyone enjoys the result at all, it's so worthwhile!

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Thank you for exploring my perspective... My individual artistic nature has been with me and nagging me since I was very young. Throughout my life I have explored many avenues/projects to express my creative side. My graphic design background has kept me employed but not necessarily happy. My life together with my husband took my creative heart into another direction and that was remodeling... I am not an interior designer but it came together because he and I worked as a team and we explored our creative natures together. Our house, this sanctuary that we each loved is not finished and I'm not sure what will happen due to finances now. I'm trying to give myself some time to regroup and make decisions come springtime.

So... Visiting the museum and reawakening old desires is a blessing for me. I don't know what direction this will take me I just know it made me feel more alive than I have since Bob passed away. And today I can thank my mom (she passed 9 days before Bob) for my first painting lessons when I was in grade school.

We are all fragile... but if someone makes a suggestion (like taking you somewhere) try to go... my heart was not going on this venture. But because someone cared and knew I needed to get outside myself again I will be forever grateful.

Peace to all.



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