BoomersMom Posted December 18, 2012 Report Share Posted December 18, 2012 I have been reading posts on here and they have been comforting. I know I should write about Boomer's life and what happened at the end, but I can't yet. Tonight I just need to say what I am going through to get it out. Boomer was almost 17 years old, I've had her since she was 6 months old. I put her to sleep on 12/14/12. Since that moment I have been overwhelmed with the thought that I left her at the vet, I can't get to her and she is alone. I have to remind myself that she is gone. I feel immense sadness most of the time coupled with overwhelming grief that makes me either want to vomit, double over or sob uncontrollably. I have trouble sleeping, forget to eat until I am starving and feel overwhelmed by daily tasks. I have never felt pain like this. My husband asked me "what part of losing Boomer is causing so much sadness?" (he was asking genuinely to try and understand). That was a really good question that I had to think about... it is the thought of never seeing her again and that I should be caring for her and I can't get to her. I believe that maybe I gave up on her, I didn't try enough, I did it too soon. I have to constantly fight those thoughts cause if she was here she would be in pain, not eating and have severe dementia like she did when I put her to sleep. I have read others stories on here, people feeling the same guilt, and I think "well they were right to put their dog to sleep", and then "but I was wrong". I will write more another night, maybe tomorrow. Any words, advice or thoughts are appreciated. I don't want to feel so alone in this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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