murphy56 Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Last week made the painfull decision to put my 15yr old lab bailey to sleep severe arthritis vestibular disease that wasn't getting better.Going deaf and blind falling down alot This last month very restless at night could not settle down. Had to carry her down the steps to go outside 60 lb lab not easy. Still didn't have a terminal disease.Of course now I feel so guilty I should have waited longer. I keep telling myself that her quality of life was gone.Been reading a lot of the posts on this site it seems to help.Just wanted to write this down.Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 Hi, I'm so very sorry you've lost your Bailey. I know how badly you hurt. We recently lost our precious little Ashely, a 14 year old miniature Doxie, who we love so very much. She had kidney disease, and was so very nauseated. I feel guilt also. It helps a tad to remember that she's not hurting any longer. Arthritis hurts very badly. I know, because I have "severe and advanced spinal arthritis." I'm sure you did what you needed to do, but I know this doesn't lessen your pain. My heart goes out to you. Feel free to write to me, and to all the others here, for we care that you hurt. They are our fur children, and we love them so much. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leftover Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 Nobody can tell you when it's time. You do what you have to, because you know in your heart it's the right thing to do, even if it doesn't seem like it now. I'm so sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 A few years ago I had to make the same decision with my dog, Lucky. She was 14, incontinent the last two years of her life, had arthritis, was going deaf and losing her eyesight. When she reached the point where she was waking up during the night, whimpering, and no longer smiling, I decided it was time. I know the temptation to feel guilty when they could have lived longer. Yes, they could have made it a bit longer, but at what cost? They're the ones who were paying, what we did was merciful to them. I think deep down inside we know when it's time, it's just never easy to let them go. I'm sorry for your loss and for your struggles with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murphy56 Posted January 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 Lady Carrie Leftover and KayC Thank you for your kind words it helps to read them.I know I just need time Iv'e had to put dogs down in the past but this one seems to be hitting me harder. Maybe it's just the passage of time and I remember it differently.Would love to get another dog some day but the thought of going through this again is hard.Anyway a little bit about bailey the friendliest dog in the world would greet the mailman and meter reader tail wagging. Chase the squrriels up the tree love to play fetch with her tennis ball but one thing a lab that didn't care for water would only go up to her ankles at the lake. Thanks again for your support it helps Craig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 Hi, Craig, Each fur baby is different, and we love each of them for who they are. I understand your fear of getting another dog, but it may just help heal your heart, as it did mine. I was SO reluctant to get another one, because I was protecting myself. Be sure you are ready. No two are exactly alike in temperament or personality, although they might look alike. When we lost our red sable Doxie named Catey Elizabeth on 4 July 2000, I hurt so badly that I decided to never have another one. We were all sick at heart with grief. People are as different as are their beloved dogs. My way of grief was to avoid ever going through it again. My husband and my daughter needed to have another Doxie running around our house in order to get through their pain. Because of my love for the two of them, we contacted a breeder near San Diago, and began our paperwork to buy another little red sable girl, who we named Calico Rose, because her mother was Blue Gingham. We call her Callie. When we first visited the breeder (several trips were required), Amberly, our daughter, fell in love with a little red boy, who we named Beauregard, because he looked so much like his bloodhound ancestors. We couldn't leave behind the little Black and Tan girl who was smaller than the rest, had legs of unequal length, looked frail, and whose eyes melted our hearts. Some would call her the runt of the litter, but we never did, and neither did her vet. We named her Ashely Rose (parents were Ashes and Embers, hence the spelling of her name), and learned to love her dearly. Ashely needed more care in some ways than the others, and slept with Jerry and me (in the circle of my left arm) for fourteen years. She was the happiest and most playful of the three. She was high energy, and wanted to play from the time she raised her eyelids every morning, until she went to bed for the night. She played even when she was so sick; even to the day before she died. She'd fall over from weakness, but still wanted on the floor to play. We let her, but stayed right with her. Then one night, she couldn't play. She just sat there. She was so sad. I picked her up, and knew in my heart that her vet was right. It was time. Your mentioning Bailey's playing ball reminded me of Ashely and Jerry (husband) playing ball every night just before going to bed. Ashely has left such a void in our lives, and a few days after Ashely died of kidney disease, her cousin, Callie, was diagnosed with it, so here we go again!! Beauregard tested negative for it, thankfully! All three were fourteen. Our house has been ruled by Doxies most of our 46-year marriage. Each has brought us so much love and laughter, and then pain. As you said, the last one hurt the worst. In truth, I've never loved one in quite the same way as I love Ashely (perhaps because she needed me more, and was so like a baby). Your Bailey sounds like a lot of fun, and downright huggable. Perhaps you have photos you'd like to share. Your comment about his going into the water only to his ankles is funny. I get quite a visual. I tell you all this about our fur babies to let you know that I understand something of how you feel, and because I hurt also. Thank you for listening to me. We've lost one fur baby, and are about to lose another one within a few months likely. There is no cure for KD, and except for diet and water, not a lot of treatment. We are not through grieving for Ashely; tears still flow easily and often. God gave men tear ducts, just as He gave them to women. It's all right to cry. My Jerry is unashamed of his tears. As has been said somewhere, tears are the bleeding of our emotions (I'm sure I destroyed the quote, but you'll understand my meaning). Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Craig, my dear, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Bailey, and I can assure you that you are neither unique nor alone in what you are feeling now. You may find this article to be of help ~ and be sure to take a look at the Related Articles you'll find at the base as well: Guilt In The Wake of The Euthanasia Decision ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leftover Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Craig- Thinking about getting another dog, I know is a tough thing. I was in the same place not that long ago and didn't think I could do it. Turns out, I could, but that's just me- everybody has to make that decision for themselves and not based on what other people think or say. I started a thread about my experiences here in this forum when I lost my beautiful Kylie. I will be forever grateful for the dogs I now have in my life (Mason and Gracie), but there isn't a day that goes by, that I don't find myself missing Kylie with all my heart. What gave me the courage to bring another dog into my life was the off-chance of seeing this posted on a message board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Leftover, Your post to Craig is powerful and touched my heart, for sure. I wish all dogs and cats could have warm, loving homes. I hurt for all the feral cats we have in our subdivision, due to owners not having their cats neutered or spayed. We've taken a few to have them "fixed," but it gets expensive. There are SO many. I did declare that I couldn't go through the pain again when we lost Catey, our Doxie, but I likely would have decided to get another Doxie at some time. Our vet told me at the time that our home will always have at least one Doxie. He knows us well. He was reared with Doxies, so he knows they're habit forming. I just wasn't ready as soon as Jerry and Amberly were. I didn't mean to be selfish. I just needed to wait a while. We waited six months, and bought three. I've been a "Mama Doxie" for a lot of years. When Ashely was so sick with KD, the same vet tried to give me two homeless Doxies, even knowing we had three, and one seriously ill. Their owner was dying, and was asking him to find a good home for them. He thought of us. I felt that I could hardly refuse to help. He saw me struggling, so he told me that I already have "too much on my plate," meaning my taking care of Jerry, and the unknowns we live with. I felt honored that he chose us to have them, but he and I both knew five Doxies and a not-well husband was too much for me. Still, it broke my heart to not take them under the circumstances. The owner didn't want them separated, which was understandable. I think they were anyway. When we still had our mini-ranch in the Valley, we had two Great Danes. We loved them also, and have much respect for the breed. They need room to run, and we have only two lots now. We must stick without short-legged kids. I'm really sorry you lost your Kylie, and that you are hurting. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Leftover, I love that, I've read that before, it's so special! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted January 5, 2015 Report Share Posted January 5, 2015 Craig, How are you today regarding Bailey? I've been thinking of you today, and wondering how you are. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murphy56 Posted January 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2015 Lady Carrie thank you for asking, feeling a little better today just trying to keep busy.It's funny how your emotions swing back and forth one second feel a little better and the next second feel overwhelming sadness. hard to talk to friends because it's been a week already and I'm suppose to get over it and move on not that easy had bailey for 15yrs.I like it where you said it's ok for tough guys to cry because I've done a lot of that.Just wanted to say your ashely sounded like a wonderful dog sorry to hear callie has the same kidney disease.Thanks again for your concern Craig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 5, 2015 Report Share Posted January 5, 2015 It's really rough, I don't get how people can possibly think you can get over it that quick. I lost my granddoggy, Skye 09/01/13 and I'm not over it...he'd lived with me so much that I felt as close to him as my own dogs. I look out in the back yard where he's buried, and I miss him so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 5, 2015 Report Share Posted January 5, 2015 This is a classic example of why I refer to the grief we feel following the death of a cherished companion animal as "a different kind of grief." It seems as if there are two kinds of people in this world: animal people and those who are not ~ and unless and until you've given your heart to a dog (cat/bird/horse/bunny/cow/ferret/Guinea pig/Iguana/you-name-it) you simply don't "get it" when a person is mourning the loss of a beloved animal. That is why it's so important to surround ourselves with like-minded folks who've experienced a loss that is similar to our own. You don't have to explain to a fellow dog-lover why your heart is broken when your beloved dog has died. We already know why. We've been there, too. One week is nothing compared to the many, many years of love you shared with your precious Bailey, Craig ~ and you will never "get over" the loss of him. You'll simply learn to carry the loss of him in your heart, along with all the cherished memories you shared. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 5, 2015 Report Share Posted January 5, 2015 So well put, Marty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murphy56 Posted January 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2015 Hi everyone just wanted to post some pictures of bailey needed some help doing this. hope it works Craig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Hi, Craig, It's so good to hear from you! I almost wrote to you this morning, because I was wondering how you are now. I thought about you, and others on this forum, yesterday while we traveled down the mountain, through the Land of Cows and Coyotes (foothills), and onto the San Joaquin Valley to Modesto where Jerry had some basal cells removed. I suspect Bailey would have loved a good romp out through the tall green grasses and among the cows. Not so for Ashely. The grass on the hills is much taller than she was, so she would have been lost before she got started. Besides, she would have been terrified. She wasn't much of an outside girl. Bailey is totally precious---looks so sweet and huggable. I'm really happy to meet Bailey. Now I know who we are discussing. I'm happy you were able to get the photos put on. Perhaps I can get some of Ashely on soon. I'll need Jerry to help me, and right now, we are getting the year end Quick Books finished for the business (ugh). He has to see yet another doctor tomorrow. It seems that doctors' offices have become a major part of our social life these days. We've lived in the same small community for over 30 years, so we do usually find people we know and talk with while there. Do let us know how you are, for we care. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Craig, What a sweet looking dog! How are you doing? I guess that's a dumb question, how CAN you be, it hasn't been very long. I've wondered about you though and am glad you posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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