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My Beautiful Little French Poodle Died And I Feel Terrible And Guilty


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I really need some help because I feel terrible and I don't know how I am going to get over this situation.
I try to rescue stray dogs to then find them a happy home and I have tried to find a home for a Golden Retriever for 6 months. He has been in a pet care for months and every two days I went with my French Poodle to pick him up and take them for a walk.
Today, I was outside a Vet with my little French Poodle, The Golden and a little Cocker my brother rescued. Everything was ok and I have them with their own leash. Suddenly, my little dog growled at the Golden and jump over hgim to attack him. The golden just put his body above my dog and I separated them almost immediately. The problem is that my dog fell unconscious with his tongue outside the muzzle. The Vet tried to save him, gave him a shot, reanimated him and nothing. He died.
I feel terrible. He was my best friend, my partner and my life. I feel I could have prevented this from happening and this makes me feel guilty and misserable.
My dog was 7 years old and had lung and heart failure that made him snore, have breathing attacks and get tired easily after running. I don't know if it was a combination of all these problems and if he wasn't going to be able to life fro many more years and these problems caused his heart attack.
I really need some advice and support because this dog was the best thing in my life. I have OCD and my life has been horrible for years and this little dog gave me moments of great happyness. My mental condition makes this tragedy tougher and I don't know what to do. This was just the last straw to complete my misserable life. I wasted my twenties, I have no friends, no job, not life. My dog was the creature that cared the most about me and loved me with all my problems unconditionally. He was my best and only friend. He was my life and the one that brightened my life. Could you please help me? I am desperate. I am losing my mind.
Thank you very much in advance for your answers.
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I am so sorry about the loss of your dog. I don't know of words that will make you feel better, I can only extend my sympathy.

It does sound like it was complications from his heart that did him in, not something in particular that he or the Golden Retriever did. Dogs do growl and get into tussles all the time...without one dying. I can imagine how you must be feeling because my dog is my life too. I know when the time comes that I lose my dog, I will feel devastated. I say "feel" not "be" because we have to go on, and eventually we learn to...not ever the same, but we continue all the same. You will feel a void in your life for quite a while and will always miss him, but the pain will gradually grow more manageable and less intense. When I lose my dog, I will likely get another...it will never replace him, there is no dog like him, but I know I will need another companion, it may take me some time to find him/her. I can't imagine ever being as close to another dog as I am the one I have, just can't picture it, but I know I'll have to keep an open heart. Usually it takes us time before we're ready for that, but everyone is individual, and some (like my sister) choose not to get another dog. I'm 62, live alone except for my dog and two cats, and honestly, I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without animals in it

I hope you will see your doctor and talk to them about the situation, considering your OCD condition, it could be they'd have some input that could help you.

I feel it's true that our dog is our best friend, it's no wonder you're feeling the loss.

If you feel up to it, maybe you'd like to post a picture of him (see More Reply Options) and tell us a little about him.

Are you having him cremated or buried? It helps to do some things to memorialize him. I had a memorial stone made for my granddoggy when he passed, I also had one made for my last dog and cat. It helps to pay tribute to them in some way, perhaps a place in your home with their picture displayed.

Because you were accustomed to having him in your life, it's going to be hard from some time when it's time to feed him...and he's not there, etc. Anything the two of you shared or did together is going to be felt until new habit patterns are developed and more used to. In other words, as you go through your day there will be reminders that prompt your attention to his absence, but it'll lessen in time. I'm so sorry, I know how hard this is, I've been a dog owner all my life, and it's very hard to lose them.

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I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my dog last week while I was out of town. It was sudden too. She collapsed when my boyfriend was walking her. Unfortunately the vet couldn't do anything. I was devastated and could barely drag myself out of bed. I felt the guilt as well and constantly was questioning myself "what if?" Please know that your dog knew you loved him and that he is still with you in spirit. This group helped me and made me feel comforted in my time of need. There are also books available to help with the coping process. I know it hurts worse than any pain you have ever felt. The fact that it was so sudden is the worst. The rainbow bridge poem is also a nice read. I kept everything of Piper's, but put it away until I'm ready to see it. It was too hard seeing her bed and food bowl. My vet also gave me a nice poem with her paw print and her hair. I'm sorry again for your loss. We're here for you.

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I'm sorry for your loss vicente. I did too lost my little chiquiniña, so sudden, I still grieving and feeling guilty about it.

what give me a little peace is that I Love her and she knew she was very loved.

sometimes dogs get sick and it is not our fault.

He knew he was loved, they know when they are loved

My heart is with you in these difficult moments.

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