Gizmo'sMom Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 Hi Everyone, It has been a month since my beloved 15 year old Gizmo passed away and I still cry continually every day. Maybe this is normal, maybe not. I am journaling and reading a book about pet loss but I feel so lost, guilty for euthanizing him, my heart physically aches and I am so utterly devastated. How do other people cope? I don't know what to do with myself. I try to keep occupied but I haven't the desire nor the strength to follow through. I think about him when I wake up and continue until I go to sleep. I still wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I need to check on him. The other morning I honestly thought I heard him panting and got out of bed before I realized he isn't here. My head told me it was time to let him go. Gizmo told me it was time but I wish someone could tell my heart. I have his ashes and I talk to him everyday. I have always had dogs and I have grieved the passing of each one but this is different. The connection and bond between Gizmo and myself was so unique and precious. Family and friends always commented that when I walked into the room, Gizmo would light up. He actually looked like he was smiling. I've worked from home for the last eight years, so we were together 24/7. He would curl up in his bed in the studio while I worked. I'm still having difficulty going into the studio and always look at the place where he should be. I would love to go in there and create something in his memory but I don't have the strength, not yet. My family and friends have been so supportive through this and I'm grateful for this group. Thank you for listening. Gizmo's Mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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