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A month has passed since I saw my mom's pretty face.

A month has passed without talking and listening to a person without talking to whom  I wouldn't spend a minute.

A month has passed since I haven't tasted her Delicious food.

A month has passed since the day she passed away..

But it seems like she died yesterday, 

I still can feel the gentle touch of her hand, the love in her kisses, her joyous smile, hear her lovely voice, I can still feel her like it was yesterday.

It seems like she'll walk from somewhere and call my name and I'll run up to her and hug her so tight that I'll never let her go..

Every night I dream about me & her being together and wakeup with a smile than cry cause it was only a dream.

Yesterday my cousin took me for shopping-the first time without mom..There was not a single item in the store I wouldn't have looked up to and thought "let me buy it for mummy".

My lovely mum, she looked so Amazing. She was,is and will always be my superhero.. 

She faced life challenges courageously and taught me to fight difficulties courageously.

No matter how much time passes by I'll never be able to get over her death

I don't want to forget her.I want to keep rewinding each and every memory we created together.

Months years or decades she'll always be missed.


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I am so sorry for the depth of your grief Mom"s angel. Your words are simply beautiful and agonizing. Thank you for sharing. A big hug to you. Someday you will have a day where you feel a little bit better - I promise. I am 9 months out and did have some time like that. Right now is rough with the holidays. And your loss is so new. Your mom hears your words.

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Thank you ceili,
I wish my mom hears every word I speak.
I wish my actions reflects what she wanted to do.
I wish she sees the world through me.
I wish the moments she missed- my brothers wedding, my graduation, my wedding, birth of her grandchild- she feels sees and enjoy through me... 

I have respect and love for all who are grieving the loss of loved ones,
Because though we look the same but everything inside us has changed.
The world looks at us the same way but we cannot look at it like we used to.
Forcing a smile when everyone's around is hard.
When my mom died I was like "the world should have stopped.. Why are people still hanging around laughing and all.. 
Why? My mom died she was so young.. The world should have stopped right at the moment she died".
But we all know the world don't stop for anyone.
My mom died during the time of a festival... People were celebrating, blowing crackers, booms and all type of firework.
I couldn't even describe what I was feeling at that time.
I wanted to go upto  them and shout that " stop it my mom died.. Stop it".

All the houses nearby were lit up by lanterns and ours was in the dark..
People were dressed so well.. Happiness was all around and I was drowning in my grief.. 
Now Christmas will come and the same thing will happen again,.
I never had experienced death of any close relative or friend before.
Just an aunty in the neighbourhood died years ago, I remember me and my mom didn't celebrated anything for a year just to make her daughter feel little well. Her daughter then moved to another Town.
I wish people around us understand the same and acts likewise, but again why would someone care when life's so fair with them.

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Your mom very well may hear every word you speak...it's said there is a veil between us, but that doesn't mean they're gone, just the two worlds interact differently.  I believe with all my heart we'll be rejoined.

I can't imagine how hard it'd be to lose someone you love during a festival.  You're right, gaiety  just doesn't seem to mix when you're mourning.  How kind you and your mom were to respect someone else's loss for a year!  I wish our society was more cognizant and empathetic with grief. 

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Well Xmas has come and gone. And it was harder than I thought it would be. For me it's almost been 2 months and I still cry almost everyday thinking about her. 

I miss everything about her!  

The last 4 months of her life was so draining on all of us. She had open heart surgery, kidney failure and was put on dialysis. All this and she was only 66.

i have voicemail messages on my phone that she left me months ago but I just can't listen to them since I will cry all day. 

She was such a wonderful mother and I miss her so much 

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You went through so much with her.  Hold onto the voice messages...mine disappeared two weeks after he died and it broke my heart, I hadn't expected them to erase on their own.

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Thank you Ceiling,

Festival now don't feel good as they were before, once they used to be the days were joy doubles but now they are days were grief doubles. 

It feels so bad to step in to new year without her, I so badly wish her back in my life, I'm willing to give everything to god if he makes it so.. that I wake up and it all be just a dream.

peace to you too.

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I know what you mean about stepping into the New year without your mom. Another first. And a real scary one. Even at my age. I had some good times in 2015 after she died in March...I had had some time to grieve. Your loss is so new. A big hug your way.

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Its been 17days since I'm not going to college.. Friends told me that they had started the important things & practicals and I'm missing out and I should come, But I don't feel like going.. Is 17 days too much? Or is it okay to not to go until I feel so?

I know how it felt when I went for the exams and I didn't liked that. I don't know if I'm missing out studies or what,

But I sure that I'm ignoring college as I feel so different from all the students that roam there laughing and enjoying their life.. I feel like a stranger among them all..

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I am not a grief counselor Mom's Angel. I wish I had the right answer for you. I can just hear your pain and it makes me so sad. Is it possible that going back and being with your friends and having your studies to focus on might make you feel some normalcy again? It would be really hard at first but could very well get easier as time went on. Did you like your studies before your mom passed? I was so lost right after mom died because I had cared for her...then bam! It all stopped. My husband gave me some volunteer research to do for him. I had to get up and go to his job and interact with people I did not know. I felt like a freak at first. But after a few days it got easier and I started to look forward to it. After my dad died, my mom got some advice from a friend who had lost her husband two years earlier. She told her to never turn down an invitation. My mom followed that advice and several years later said she thought that advice had saved her from giving up. It was not easy. And it wasn't covering her grief. She would go home after being out and cry for hours, but it gave her a breather. It made her feel more normal for awhile. I don't know if going back is right for you or not. Could you try and if it was too much take the time you need? I do think that isolating yourself is one of the worst things that you can do. Find something. Start small and allow yourself your grief time as well. I suffer from clinical depression and isolating is one of the first signs that I am becoming depressed and need help. Do you think that finding a grief group or counselor might help you? Please keep us posted. Hugs to you sweetie.

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Dear angel, I don't know if your college offers any sort of bereavement support on your campus, but you're certainly not the only college student mourning the death of a parent, and today more and more colleges are recognizing this. You may find these resources helpful:

College Grief And The National Students of AMF 

How to Support Grieving College Students

Interview with David Fagenbaum, Founder of National Students of AMF and co-author of We Get It

Book, We Get It: Voices of Grieving College Students and Young Adults

Article, Mourning The Death of A Parent

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You will know when it's time to go back.  It'd be good to fill this time with grief work, Marty's idea about looking for support at your college would be a start.

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I'm sorry you lost your mom, it's been over a year since mine passed, yours being so soon, it's a wonder it's sunk in yet.  I knew mine was going to go, just didn't know when it'd be, but I think it helps prepare you...still I don't think we're ever prepared for the finality.

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