Kittykat Posted April 15, 2015 Report Share Posted April 15, 2015 She's had Alzheimer's for many years now Yesterday my parents told me they expect her to die within the next few days I don't know how to deal with this I know she's old and she had a full life and she hasn't really mentally been here for a few years But I'm still sad Especially since I already have depression ,I'm scared of what will happen to me when she dies...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 16, 2015 Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 I'm so sorry. I hope you will find someone to talk to, a school counselor, maybe your parents could make an appointment for you to see a grief counselor, it'd really be helpful to you. Death is a natural part of life's cycle, but one we tend to shy away from in our society. We learn to deal with our grief but we never stop missing the person we're grieving, we just learn to incorporate it into our lives. I have many people I miss now, my grandparents, my parents, a niece, nephew, husband, and many many pets. I can't say as it gets easier with each loss, but at least I know now that we do somehow get through it My thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted April 16, 2015 Report Share Posted April 16, 2015 Kittykat, I'm so sorry to learn of your grandmother's serious illness, and I certainly do understand your concern. I don't know how old you are, but if you're young (and even if you're not) you may not have much (if any) experience with dying and death ~ and we do live in a culture that tends to deny the fact that we're all mortal and sooner or later we're all going to be faced with dying and death. Because we tend to avoid death in our culture, we really don't learn much about what dying looks like or what to expect when it happens to someone we love. Fortunately nowadays there are articles, books and other resources available that can teach us what we need to know, if we're willing to avail ourselves of such information. I happen to believe quite strongly that we can deal with anything if we have an idea of what to expect ~ I think that's precisely why we're so afraid of dying, since we really don't know what to expect and most of us have never been with another person at the moment of death. I can refer you to any number of articles about the dying process, but the resource I'd really like you to see is a video presentation offered by Barbara Karnes, RN. Barbara is a hospice nurse whose mission now is to educate the public on what she's observed and all she's learned as she has ministered to her dying patients and their families. Her booklet Gone From My Sight is a classic, and this video presentation is based on that same booklet: Gone From My Sight. You need to allow about an hour and a half to watch it, but I think you will find it quite informative, helpful and even comforting. You might also take a look at What To Expect When Someone Important To You Is Dying, available as a free download in pdf format. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted April 17, 2015 Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 My thoughts and prayers are with you. I totally agree with Marty about the video from Barbara Karnes, RN. Her material is spot on and she has such an understanding of the dying process. I have given her pamphlets to many people I know who were looking for answers about the dying process. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjg333 Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 Hi, I also suffer from depression and anxieties and my grandma has also been given just a few days too..... I can't offer much advice as we're in the same boat but I just wanted to say I am thinking of you and here for support if wanted. I'm new to this site so don't really know my way around it yet but I'm sure there will be a 'private message' section and you're more than welcome to message me anytime Lots of love to you and your family x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 24, 2015 Report Share Posted April 24, 2015 sjg333, I'm sorry you're also going through this. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted April 24, 2015 Report Share Posted April 24, 2015 Dear Kittycat and sjg333, I am very sorry that you are hurting. We care. I pray that God will sustain you, and meet all your needs. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittykat Posted April 26, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2015 she died on thursday morning......I feel numb,lost, I don't even know how to feel....the hardest part is that I barely remember her the way she was like before her disease started destroying her mind.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted April 26, 2015 Report Share Posted April 26, 2015 I'm so sorry for your loss, Kitty, and you have our heartfelt condolences. One thing you will learn about grief is that it changes ~ it does not stay the same, and I promise that you will not always feel the way you are feeling now. The day will come when your positive memories of your dear grandmother will outweigh the bad ones. When you feel ready and able to do so, you might begin writing down some of your favorite memories of your grandmother, and you can ask others who knew her to share some of their memories of her with you as well. Talk about her and share those grandmother stories with your friends and members of your family, as a way to keep her memory alive. As Elaine Stillwell has said, "Be keepers of memories. If their song is to continue, then we must do the singing." (I invite you to read my article, Parent Loss: Singing Their Song.) ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 26, 2015 Report Share Posted April 26, 2015 I am so sorry you lost your grandma, Kitty. You've been in the thick of her illness/dying for some time now so it's overshadowing your memories, I'm sure they'll come back with time. Maybe looking at some earlier pictures would help you remember her the way she used to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted April 26, 2015 Report Share Posted April 26, 2015 Dear Kitty, I, too, am so sorry for your loss. We all care. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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