Hello everyone. I'm new on here and not quite sure I'm doing it right. I've been reading your posts for several weeks now and I realize I'm not alone on this journey. I lost my husband on March 2, 2007 and it is unbearable to say the least. He had been ill and I just never wanted to accept how ill because it might make it real. He was my soulmate, the love of my life, my best friend, my partner, my everythihg. I don't know who I am anymore and I'm at the point I don' care. August has been extremely difficult. My birthday, our 23rd anniversary and now my Dad is in hospice care and dying. I don't have the strength to help my mother because I'm still reeling from my husband. I had to go back to the hospital where Will died for my Dad and I thought I would collapse before I even got on the elevator. I have no support what so ever. The people I work with don't even want to act like Will even existed. He did and this is not going to go away by ignoring it. I've found what friends you have left grow tired of hearing your sorrow and heartache, yet I have to live with it everyday. It's not really living, just existing. Kind of like a plant. Your posts have made me realize there are other people who feel the same agony I do every single waking minute and there's lots of those. Yes I feel like I'm losing my mind and maybe that would not be such a bad thing. The tears and the pain just keep on coming. I just wish for a kind word, just say I know where you are and I am here for you. Nobody understands that in my circle. Suzanne
