suzanne

Erica I am so sorry. I reached 7 months last week. It is so painful. I will be thinking of you today. Suzanne

Wendy My prayers are with your mother and you. So glad she is at home. Hopefully it is only inflammation. Take care. Suzanne

Wendy Glad to hear your mother may be able to come home tomorrow. I'm sure she will rest better there. I know today is going to a tough day for you. I wish I did know how to wake up from this nightmare. We just have to keep going. Someway, somehow. We will find it eventually. Suzanne

Maylissa You are not alone. So many of us know how much you love Nissa and miss her. She was your baby girl and you will always love her. I as well loved the "spit in a bathtub" from DoubleJo. Furbabies are so giving and loving at all times. They don't care what kind of a day you had as long as you came home to them. It is such a joy to come home at night and my Layla gives me hugs and kisses from being gone from her all day. I do hope the woman is taking care of her daughters daschund. Their backs are so fragile and once a problem occurs will follow them the rest of their lives. Don't give up on people. I haven't found many out there yet with understanding but I know they exist. Look at us here as proof. Ignore the others. Suzanne

Walt You will see Jeannie again, she is waiting for you. And what a beautiful song. I don't know for sure if there is any moving on. Just accepting there is a reason and a plan for each of us. We don't understand it and can't see it. Have to have faith in the unseen. What other choice is there? I think our time on this earth has already been determined and they is no way to alter it. My husband had his dad's pocket watch from the railroad. I never paid any attention to the time on it until he had died, never even took it out and he showed it to me so many times, it doesn't even run. Got it out afterwards for some reason. Guess what time it is stopped at, 10:00 AM. Same time Will died on March 2nd. It made me feel as though someone was telling me the time had already been set. Suzanne

So sorry you have had a bad week. My seven months was last Tuesday. Last night was the most sleepless I have had in a long time. Even in a mall I too feel so lonely. When you see the couples walking around together, holding hands and knowing it is the weekend when that used to be you and your husband. Just tears your heart out all over again. It is almost like you are invisible and walking in some other world. I went to pieces walking by the greeting card section of Wal Mart because I passed the section for husband and thought, I'll never be buying one of those again. But I still believe there is hope for a brighter tomorrow. And if it is not tomorrow maybe the next day. So many here have asssured me of that and that gives me a reason to live. Just know that I am thinklng of you. Keep pushing on. As Karen said, it's not what Walter would want as I know it's not what Will would want for me. We have to keep trying. Suzanne

DoubleJo & Derek It is so true about people offering to help and won't follow through. Sometimes I think they just offer to make themselves feel good and never expecting you to really ask. Derek, I'm glad your offers came through. I know that made it a little easier. Mine sure haven't. Including my three stepchildren. Suzanne

Oh Tori Thank you for sharing that. I had forgotten that song. It is so beautiful. Brought a fresh wave of tears on but it is comforting. Like a warm blanket. Suzanne

Whoever fixed the link. Thank you! Suzanne

William We just care for you and want to keep reminding you. Now, I too have to remember to take my blood pressure medicine. I just carry the bottle around until it is time every morning. Fortunately it is helping except when I get myself so upset. My bad. Myrna passing is the same day as Will's. That's makes me feel a "kinship" to you in some way. Old southern word. Love to all Suzanne

My friends I received this today from dailyom.com which I subscribe to for a daily message. My seventh month I had Tuesday creeped up on me tonight like a monster in the dark. This gave me just a little bit of hope that one day the load will get a little bit lighter. October 4, 2007 Stronger For It Mending A Broken Heart Heartbreak happens to all of us and can wash over us like a heavy rain. When experiencing a broken heart, our ethereal selves are saturated with grief, and the overflow is channeled into the physical body. Loss becomes a physical emptiness, and longing is transmuted into a feeling that often cannot be put into words. Mending a broken heart can seem a task so monumental that we dare not attempt it for fear of damaging ourselves further. But heartbreak, like all emotions, falls under the spell of our conscious influence. Often the pain that wounds us most deeply also leaves the most enduring mark upon us. The shock that becomes the tender, throbbing ache of the heart eventually leads us down the path of enlightenment, blessing our lives with a new depth and richness. Acknowledging heartbreak's impermanence by no means dulls its sting for it is the sting itself that stimulates healing. The pain is letting us know that we need to pay attention to our emotional selves, to sit with our feelings and be in them fully before we can begin to heal. It is said that time heals all wounds. Time may dull the pain of a broken heart, but it is fully feeling your pain and acknowledging it that will truly help you heal. Dealing with your heartache in a healthy way rather than putting it off for tomorrow is the key to repair. Gentleness more than anything else is called for. Most important, open yourself to the possibility of loving, trusting, and believing again. When, someday soon, you emerge from the cushion of your grief, you will see that the universe did not cease to be as you nursed your broken heart. You emerge on the other side of the mending, stronger for all you have experienced. -- Reprinted with permission from DailyOM- Inspirational thoughts for a happy, healthy and fulfilling day. Register for free at www.dailyom.com. Love Suzanne PS - William, did you take your meds today?

Tori I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband and daughter and your youngest daughters illness. Just know that I care and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I can not even imaging the pain you are going through with so many heartaches. I don't know if I would have the strength to endure what you have. But just try to hang in there for your family. I'm sure they love you so and need you now. Please keep up the courage to write again. Suzanne

Wendy Hope you got some rest last night. So glad your mother is improving. Hope today will find her still better. Thinking of you both. Suzanne

Dusky "Stranger to go on" is a perfect phrase for what we are all going through. Thanks for sharing. I know it was a very painful day for you. Suzanne

William They even had the nerve to tell me I had to mail my "proof of relationship" to Birmingham, I called them everything I could think of. If you think I would mail my marriage license to you. Does the fact that my heart has been ripped from me count as proof!!! Well lady don't get upset with me I was told. I went ballistic. Called my local office here and I was able to take it in to make a copy. Anyway, guess another example of a woman's wrath. Don't make us mad. Suzanne

William Don't you dare sink on me tonight. Wendy will be after both of us if I let let you go down. You will not. This is our night and we will get through it. Those people that call for Will get the most royal cursing they have ever had, and I mean words I have never used to use or they get hung up on. There is no comnpassion with some people, you just bite back. Social security office which I won't even get into. Try to tell me my marriage has ended. That's a conversation that can't even repeat on here. Suzanne

William What day is Myrna's day? Is your seventh month any better? You have a good night as well my friend. Suzanne

Karen, Derek and William Thanks for your replys. I know I may still have a difficult time ahead of me tonight as well as the days ahead but just for the moment I am okay with my memories and I know God will be with me tonight as well as the days to come. Those I will worry about later. One moment at a time. William A woman's wrath is a force to not be taken lightly. We see you. Suzanne

Maylissa I have not talked with you before but I have read your posts. I am so sorry for your loss of Nissa. I can tell how much you love her. I too am a furbaby lover. My husband and I had a daschund for 14 years, Cindy, I thought I would die when we had to have her put to sleep for back problems (ruptured disk). This was her second one. The first one was when she was eight years old. The surgery was very expensive and a lot of people didn't understand why we spent so much money for a dog, but like you she wasn't an animal, she was our daughter. I would have spent anything, they gave her an 80% chance of recovery then. Alas, on the last one at 14 years of age, surgery was no longer an option. That was 2002. We both decided we would never have another dog because we could never love one like we did our Cindy. My husband died in March of this year and everyone told me to get another dog. I didn't think I could love anything but I finally went to animal control in May and adopted my Layla. A little Maltese mix. She is just the joy of my life. They give such unconditonal love and her little breathe on my back as she cuddles up next to me at night is a feeling you can't describe. Don't let what others say upset you so. Some people just don't understand what love animals give us but then they have missed out on so much by not knowing what it is to love and care for one of these little ones who depend so much on us. But I guess in reality we depend on them even more. Suzanne

Karen So happy that your son passed his inspection. You are such a wonderful Mom. William We all care so much about you. Please take your meds. Wendy will come and get you. I reached seven months today. Still so very painful but not as intense. I'm just remembering all of the beautiful times and holding them close to me tonight. Just maybe I see a little light. Everyone here has given me hope for a brighter tommorow. I am so very thankful and blessed for each of you. I never would have made it to this point without you. Thank you my friends. Of course as we all know that could change tommorow but at least for tonight I will get through it. Love Suzanne

Gail I know just how you feel. Weekends are so terribly lonely and long now. They were the highlight of our week. Two days together, whatever we were doing was wonderful, just to be able to do it together. I, like you, miss him so much. I sat this afternoon looking at photos of us and remembering how much fun we had. So many beautiful memories. Guess we just have to hold on to those. The only good thing about my weekends now is I can be myself. No pretending to those at work that everything is okay when in reality it probably never will be. Gives me a break to regroup. It is so hard to put on that happy face Mon-Fri. I as well go forward, then backwards. We just need to take a deep breath and try again I suppose. Tommorrow is another day and maybe it will be better. Got to keep hanging on to that. Suzanne

Wendy So glad to hear there is some improvement in your mother. I will be thinking of you both. You and your mother are in my prayers. Suzanne

Thank you Corinne. Let's all keep Wendy and her mother in our prayers tonight as well. Like Derek said once, I wish I could find some way to reach heaven. Maybe then we could understand WHY? Suzanne

Thank you Karen for your reply. I too listen to music that I know will make me sad but I'm already there anyway. Sometimes it just makes for a good release to let it out. Makes my blood pressure go down. So I really don't think it's dumb. A good cry is refreshing, at times sort of cleansing. And yes tomorrow is another day. I will take it aand do the best as I can. Suzanne

It is such a sad night tonight for me. Tomorrow is one month that my Dad died and Tuesday will b 7 months for my husband. Sometimes I feel stronger but it is just not tonight. So many memories, so many lost hopes and dreams. Will life ever seem normal again? I guess I am just taking those steps backwards. I know I'll get through it but is so hard and so agonizing. Suzanne PS - William take your medicine, Wendy needs us right now.