I killed my kitten help

[Apolloinheavan]

A couple days ago i started taking care of this kitten i named Apollo. He was tge runt of a stray and she wouldn't feed him so i took him in and bottle fed him. When i would go to sleep id put him in his cage but he would cry and cry. So i felt bad and let him out and sleep with me. Last night. I went to bed like usual, and this morning and woke up to find my little baby dead. It was so awful. Ive been crying for hours cuz i rolled over on him. I just took a showerand there us claw marks on my leg, im not sure if they are from last night or him kneading me when i feed him. I feel so awful and cant stop crying that cat was so sweet and already so attached. I dont know what to do. I just buried him in the back yard. Everytime i look at his stuff i cry. I keep thinking about him. I feel terrible.

[MartyT]

My friend, I'm so sorry this happened to you, and clearly this was an accident ~ if, in fact, you had any part in this kitty's death. You cannot know that for sure, and since he was a runt and his mother wouldn't feed him, it sounds as if he wasn't healthy to begin with ~ and perhaps he died from natural causes. So all of this may be just a coincidence. In any event, in response to your statement that you don't know what to do ~ there is nothing you can do except to feel your feelings and to acknowledge the sorrow and pain you're feeling in the wake of this tragic death. Give yourself time to come to terms with this very sad event, and find some way to forgive yourself. Clearly this was not intentional on your part, and you never meant to bring any harm to this poor creature. Do what you can to memorialize him and remember the love you shared with him.

I see that you've already posted in another thread from 2014 (http://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/8294-i-killed-my-newborn-kitten-please-help-me/). I hope you've read all the responses posted there, and that you will take those words to heart. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss 

 

[kayc]

Marty made some good points here.  I replied to your other post, so I will copy it over here.

I am so sorry about your kitten, it must have been horrid to discover.  I feel so much for what you're going through and it seems there are no words to express it.  I pray for comfort for you.  Know your little one is in heaven waiting for you and is well in his new life.