Really missing my cat - he was a member of my family

[chelsiesusan]

I lost my beloved cat Baxter two months ago after a long stretch of illnesses. I had him for 17 years, and I am not sure what to do with myself. When I leave the house, it is a little easier, but when I am here I see him everywhere and miss spending time with him. His presence is all over our house, and I am having trouble being here. I hate being alone, but I can't just not be in the house ever. It is a really depressing and lonely time.

[MartyT]

Seventeen years is a very long time, and it's no wonder that your home and everything in it serves as a reminder of your Baxter's absence. I would imagine that when you were home, the two of you were never separated. You cannot adjust to such a significant change as if turning off a light switch. This adjustment takes time and conscious effort on your part.

I wonder what you've done to memorialize your beloved boy. Is there a table or shelf in a bookcase where you can place some objects that remind you of him? A photo, a collar, a favorite toy, for example? Perhaps an LED votive candle you can keep lit? The key to moving through grief is to find ways to carry the memory of your beloved in your heart and to remember the love that you shared with each other. Death ends a life, and unfortunately for us, the lifespan of our beloved animal companions is so much shorter than our own. But the love we have for them never dies. Love is forever.

You'll find some other ideas for remembering your Baxter here: Memorializing Pets We Have Lost  ♥

[kayc]

I am sorry for your loss, I know how hard it is to lose an animal that was your companion.  We continue to miss them throughout our lives but the intensity and pain gradually diminishes.  Some people don't want that pain to end, but I assure you it is the natural process, we're not intended to carry that kind of pain forever, we have a built in resilience that we can sometimes hone and it helps us in our healing process.  It's our love that binds us to them, not our pain, the pain is a side effect.  It's okay to let it go and not feel guilty for doing so, when we're able to.  You will continue to miss your cat though, even as I have mine.

I have bought my animals memorial stones when they've passed...it kind of looks like a cemetery in my back yard, but it comforts me to see them.  I feel they've deserved something in their honor. https://www.personalcreations.com/product/pawprints-in-heaven-memorial-marker-30192930?q=30192930&start=&spell=&srchSuggestion=y&trackingpgroup=pid

[chelsiesusan]

Thanks Marty. I have little reminders of him all over the place. I just found some photos of him that I have placed in various parts of the house so I can see him wherever I go. I am not sure if it was too soon for me to do that since it tends to make me cry more when I see his photos everywhere, but it makes me feel like he is still here in a way, and I like that. A friend of mine bought me a candle in his memory, and I light it from time to time. I have several photos and some videos on my phone that I look at on a pretty regular basis, and I have started a notebook where I write entries talking to him and adding memories so I can always look back to something that makes me smile.

I think I am just still working through my grief because I still miss him so very much. Two months is nothing compared to 17 years. I can't seem to stop crying, but I know that is normal.

[Buster's Mom]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Baxter.  I understand that feeling.  I had my Buster for 16 years. He's been gone two months and there is not a day that goes by without missing him.  I agree with having a ritual and a place where you can keep your memories of him.  I do understand the feeling of it being too much to have pictures everywhere. I have kept mine in one place for just that reason.  I try to set aside a little time every day to sit and think about him and how much I love him.  

I am sending you lots of love and strength. It's hard to lose a companion that you love so much.