Soruyo my 3yo cat

[Ana Olivo]

Hi, I'm not very used to do this, but here we go. My cat died yesterday, I found him dead at 4am, I was sleeping in the living room with him to take care of him, around 2am, I noticed he was breathing weirdly, so I decided to move him to a blanket cause it was very cold, he breath normally again, then I fall asleep, and that's when I woke up at 4 and found him, still warm. I still live with my parents so I called my mom and my Dad, and they checked he was dead, I automatically started crying, I felt horrible, I still do, because I couldn't understand what happened. To catch you up on the story, let's begin with last month when he had an urinary issue, and he couldn't pee and was on so much pain, my vet only told me to give him some pills and change the food for some with less sodium, so I did. But a month after, like a week ago, he started feeling so bad, he could barely move, so I took him to another vet, and that vet said he had well literally sand on his bladder, and crystals also, he was put on a treatment and spent almost a week in the vet hospital, when I visited him I notice he was peeing blood but the vet said it was normal and he seemed better, more active, happier for feeling better. However last Monday I had to pick him up and they had to sedated him to give him a bath, since cats are a little bit aggressive when they see a blower coming near them. So in the afternoon I went to pick him up and they changed his food, gave him some meds and we even had to buy some on Amazon because it wasn't available here, so I notice he was more active but still sleepy, so he remained to be sleepy for the rest of the evening, and then later he became more calm and more calm, until what I said at the beginning happened. I genuinely don't understand what happened, the vet told me he was OKAY, I was so happy, and now my heart is destroyed, my baby boy is gone and there's nothing I can do, I buried him in my backyard and I'm planning to plant a beautiful plant there to honor him, but I feel triggered when I the door to my backyard open and see a part of it, and when I go to the laundry space where he used to hang out, and whenever I go anywhere he used to be. I still have his biological cat mom, called Mila with me and a rescued kitten that just arrived at my house on September, called Mishi. And I love them deeply, but I feel so hurt for losing Soru, since he was practically mine in the house, he was my cat, I saw him when he was born, I was automatically in love with him, with his tiny furry self. He was born on August 2016 and his mom on 2015, she was given to us and we don't know the exact date of her birthday just like the kitten we adopted too on September. I feel so powerless because Soruyo was my baby, he woke up almost every morning, he would just bump his forehead to mine and purr and he would crawl in the cutest way possible so you could tell him he was cute and pet him and play with his belly and his back, he had so much hair! 

I miss him so much, and I don't know how to deal with the pain, I don't want to do anything like wash my hair or take a bath, or brush my teeth, or do my homework. I just missed him so much...

[Prince#1]

Sorry to hear your dear boy has passed on. My dog passed away just over 2 weeks ago, I don't feel like I'm dealing very well with it, so I'm here, sharing my story and can hopefully offer some comfort to others.

I also have a cat with urinary tract problems. He was at the vet for about a week because he didn't recover as quickly as he should have after surgery to remove crystals, and his was also very bad, as described like sandpaper. He's ok now, I would strongly advise a different vet for your kitties as I've heard that blood in urine is definitely Not OK.

You are not to blame, and you may feel like something different could have been done, I am still going through those feelings and please know... we do our best. I hope you find some comfort here. 

There's some great articles on dealing with loss of pets that you can find in other posts, and I've found some comfort just Googling about ways to deal with the sadness. I wish you all the best 🙂

[kayc]

I am so sorry for your loss, it seems somehow harder when they're so young, we feel they should have gotten to live longer.  If I've learned anything, there's nothing fair about loss/grief.  It can take much time to begin to adjust to the everyday changes it means to your life, all of the rituals you had together and the absence of them is a trigger in itself.  I lost my Arlie (dog) 5 1/2 months ago and it felt as painful as when I lost my husband 14 1/2 years ago, I miss him so much.  I've learned to coexist with my grief, it is always inside of me, even when I am doing other things.  I realize I will mourn him the rest of my life, he was my perfect dog.

I lost Kitty Jan. 6, she was old, her kidneys and liver shut down, she first showed signs of not feeling well on Christmas, 12 days later I had her put to sleep.  She'd always pulled through everything so I really hadn't expected to lose her but this time was different, she wasn't eating much, throwing up, peeing/drinking a lot.  Even turning down her Easy Cheese, which she normally loved and demanded.  It's hard for me to believe that she is gone.

You took him to the vet, you could not have known he'd die, esp. after the vet said he was okay.  Have you contacted the vet for an explanation?

https://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

[MartyT]

Ana, my dear, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling in the wake of your beloved Soruyo's death. If this is your first experience with significant loss, what you are feeling can leave you reeling, as if you've been dropped into a foreign country where you don't know the language and you have no guide book to help you. Grief is like that, and it can leave you feeling crazy, disoriented, without energy and, as you say, having no interest in the normal activities of daily life. I encourage you to do some reading about grief in general and about the grief that accompanies the loss of a cherished animal companion, so you'll have a better understanding of what you are feeling and why, and of what you might do to better manage your own reactions. You might start with these:

Grief: Understanding The Process

Pet Loss: Is It a Different Kind of Grief?

Pet Loss: Why Does It Hurt So Much?