How To Grieve Healthily?

[kenneth]

In one of my son's letters, he said: Grief is the price we pay for love. 

 

I've been reflecting on that a lot these days, now that I've got some time. Working remotely does have its perks (or not). Being alone with my thoughts can lead to dark places, I found out.

 

We grieve in different ways. But I realize now that running away is not the healthy way to do it. The pain of losing my wife has been covered, dulled by the vast amount of meetings and work over the years. However I never really addressed it. The pain was shoved under the carpet, so to speak. I was able to get out of bed and keep the business running, but the price was terrible.

 

My two sons were put in the back I never allowed them to grieve over the loss of their mother or in the case of the youngest, the mother he never got to know or meet.

 

How do I start grieving in a healthy way? And how do I help my sons go about it too?

 

[scba]

Dear one. I'm very sorry for your loss. If you are here putting down your words, it is a healthy way to start dealing with the loss of your wife. There is no right or wrong, but your own way. You have acknowledged that you need to face your grief, and to your sons too.

Have you considered counseling?  

I was unable to work an it took me two years to apply for a job again. I'm prone to be a workaholic to fill the hours I spend being at home due to the pandemia. I've found myself alone with my thoughts. It was difficult to deal with that on top of everything else. 

Grief evolves. It changes. Things will change.

Welcome. Here is a safe place to express yourself. 

[kayc]

11 hours ago, kenneth said:

The pain of losing my wife has been covered, dulled by the vast amount of meetings and work over the years. However I never really addressed it.

 It has a way of finding you and haunting you until dealt with.  We once had someone that it had been 20 years since the death of his fiance before it slammed him, forcing him to deal with it!  By then he was married and had kids, it must have bewildered his wife!  I remember Marty addressed it.  In situations like these I recommend grief counseling.  It's never too late to deal with it.

Yes, we do want to welcome you here, and I'm very sorry for your loss.

Tips to Make Your Way through Grief

[MartyT]

47 minutes ago, kayc said:

I remember Marty addressed it. 

Voices of Experience: Delayed Grief  

In Grief: When Sorrow Is Delayed

Delayed Grief: When We Don't Take Time to Mourn