shauna marie Posted April 26, 2008 Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 My heart goes out to you, Shelley.I think this is a great topic for such a board. I found it so interesting to see how we all handle the anniversaries so differently. I honestly have never had much of a problem with my father's death so I am not going to spend any time there.My mom's first year anniversary very well nearly killed me. I had to take time off of work, almost ended up in detox, and almost passed out two times the week before. I wanted nothing to do with absolutely no one for about a month and my brother actually ended up kicking me out.The second year went much better. I still had my days and I was pretty stressed out for about a month before hand, but compared to the first year, handled it MUCH better.Hayley--I understand about the period of time that your mom was sick. For me, it's actually from June 28th until September 7th. She was sick the whole time and just kept getting worse and worse and worse. The first summer was horrible and even last year I was completely dazed. I'm going to be handling this summer better though. You need time to deal with everything.Take care all,Shauna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 28, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2008 Hi Shauna Marie,I am sorry for your loss but finding this site will help greatly... There are some fantastic people here who really understand and care... Thank you for your reply it was nice of you to take the time... take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 Hi All,It is going to be the fifth aniversary of my father's death and I find it ever confusing right now... I should find the day difficult because my mom's fifth anniversary this year was very difficult but with my dad it is so very different and so weird because I do not have the same feelings... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnC Posted August 3, 2009 Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 Hi All,It is going to be the fifth aniversary of my father's death and I find it ever confusing right now... I should find the day difficult because my mom's fifth anniversary this year was very difficult but with my dad it is so very different and so weird because I do not have the same feelings... ShelleyI was kind of looking for a post like yours, because in June I just passed the fifth anniversary of my ex-husband's death, and I am feeling weepy and depressed again. I wanted to know if others are still feeling the pain so many years later. Friends and family just dismiss my "moods", thinking I should have been "over this" a long time ago. It's so hard.Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Mayhew Posted August 3, 2009 Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 Starkiss, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.I had a thought that you might like to try? Perhaps you could write to him what you really want to say, then burn the note, and watch the smoke go upwards to him. This would give you the opportunity to say whatever you want ... in a safe environment. (I think I got the idea from an article that Marty wrote BTW).Then light a candle to balance it out ...Just a thought. Ignore me if you think it's silly :-)Boox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 Hey Boo,I do not think it is silly at all and I personally think it is a great idea and I might even do it... Thank you for your reply...Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 Hey Ann,My brother-in-law thinks I should be over it in a year but does not realize that certain days bring certain memories... I think grief is personally and you need to take your time and go at your own pace Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Mayhew Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Thinking of you today Starkiss.HUGSBoox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emptyinside Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 To StarKiss and all the posters herein, I'm so glad this board exists so we can help each other. Thinking of all of you. Hugs.Em Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Hi AllI think that there has been some confussion here, My mom died April 18, 2005 and dad died August 25th 2005 so I hope this clears everything up... Thanks Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Mayhew Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 sorry Starkiss, that could be my fault. I had read one of the much earlier posts that referred to "tomorrow" and I stupidly read it as literally tomorrow without checking the date of the actual post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Hi Boo,Thank you for all your worries and concerns I do appreciate them and toward the end of the month is when I will really need them... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 Hi All,Well, here it is the fourth anniversary of my dad's death and I am just an emotional roller coaster today with so many feelings... I feel happy, sad, confused, lost... I have ups and downs as well today... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 Shelley, dear ~ there is a candle burning for you and your dad on our Light a Candle site . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted June 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2010 Hi All, As the five anniversary of my dad's death approaches in August of this year, I find it really hard to even feel anything about this... I know that he was my dad and I should miss him and celebrate his life but I am feeling nothing at all... Shelley Hi Marty, Thanks for lighting the candles that was so sweet Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 Hi All, Here I am getting myself prepared for all the emotions that might show up on August 25 as this is the fifth anniversary of my dad's death... My dad and I did not have a great relationship but I still care for him and maybe one day I can actually say I love him... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Hi All, Here I am two days before my dad's fifth anniversary of his death and I do not feel anything. I do not know if I am numb or just do not feel anything about the upcoming anniversary Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 Hey All, Well the day is almost over and I have been extremely busy today but took time to sit quietly and remember my dad... I actually went to A&W to eat dinner and did this in name of my dad...Even with our so called relationship I do still care about him and thought of the good times that we did share. Like going and getting a root beer float... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 Good for you, Shelley! ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 HUGS Shelley, I can't imagine how hard the day was, I know I am dreading my first. Hope you had a nice dinner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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