amanda Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 help,when i was having a semi good day i agreed for my 16 year old to go on holiday with a friend.ok his friend is very responsible and a nice lad.however as you know my mum died on holiday last year and two and half years ago my sister went on holiday she was 23 weeks pregnant,she lost her baby and nearly died.i cant help panicing.why did i ever say he could go ,i must be stupid.love 2 allamanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 Hi Amanda,Please do not think you are stupid, just because you are worrying for your son on vacation.. You are being just a typical mom, but you also have the right to worry... I would be extremely worried after what you have been through.... You need to have faith that just because it happened twice it doesn't mean it will happen again... I know that this does not neccessarily help you but I will pray for your and your son so that things go well on the trip and if others do the same than you and your son will be okay... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amanda Posted August 23, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 hi shelley,thank you for your kind words,he goes to corfu on friday,i havent let him know how i feel,i want him to have a good time.he has promised to call me,But it doesnt stop me worring.loads of loveamanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 Hi Amanda,I know that it would not stop you worrying, and you would not human if you did not worry... I hope that when the trip is over that you both with somewhat laugh that you were so worried... I hope that this is okay what I said here and if not I am very, very sorry.... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyD Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 Hi Amanda,Your worries are totally understandable as I think anyone who went through losses twice during the same circumstances would automatically start to think about the same thins happening when the circumstance arise again. But I also think that when we do that we fall victim to the "what if" factor and it only causes us more worry. After I lost my Dad this past March every time I received bad news I'd go into the "what if this or that happens" mode and it made things worse. I try to tell myself that we just can't KNOW and because we can't it's futile to dwell on something we can't predict. Maybe try to look at the holiday as something your son will really enjoy and try to envision all the fun he's going to have while he's away? Think about how excited he is and what new experiences he'll gain by taking the trip? I guess if we try to spin our worries into a positive light it sometimes makes them lessen. Take care,Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 Amanda,Not stupidity! It would be natural for you to worry, even without the other experiences! As Shelley said, you are just being a mom. I worry constantly about "what if this happens?" and am driving myself crazy! But I am working hard on living in the moment and trying to believe that everything will be ok. Life has to go on and unfortunately, that includes trips and such! I actually think you letting him go is a huge step forward for you. You knew he wanted to go and you let him. I admire you for that, that you could be so unselfish and also not let him know how worried you are. Give yourself a huge pat on the back.Hugs,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amanda Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 thank you everyone,i feel a little better just talking about it,the count down is on he goes in 9 hours.i know he is a good lad so he will be fine,but as i said i cant help worrying.Yesterday he passed 8 exams with good grades,wonderful news but i wanted to tell my mum and couldnt,strange how good news brings sad feelings.Im having a little bit of a hard time right now but i know it will get better again soon so i will just hang on to that.my stepdad has another lump in his throat,we dont know if it the cancer back only tests will tell.i dont know if they are slow in the us as they are here,but you feel like your waiting forever to get the tests done and then an eternity for the results.enough of me moaningloads of loveamanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 Hi Amanda, That is really good news about your son's exams, and about stepfather I will pray that it is not his cancer coming back. About moaning too much that is why we are hear to help others when they need us, either by sharing information or sending hugs and saying prays... So do not worry about the moaning anything you need to do is understood... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amanda Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 hi shelley,well ii dropped darren at the airport and smiled until he was out of sight then cried,my eldest son daniel was with me he is 18 , gave me a hug and came hoome and cooked dinner for the family.im really lucky to have great kids,however lauren my 12 year old daughter decided she will miss her big bro so much she will have to sleep in his bed.funny i think its just because he has cable and she doesnt.thank you for all your prayers i must be keeping you busy.ha haloads of love amanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 Hi Amanda,I will say a special prayer for a great and safe trip for Darren and I will say a prayer for you as well. You are not taking up my time and I love to help where I can... Take care and God Bless You Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted August 26, 2006 Report Share Posted August 26, 2006 Amanda/ I will be praying for you and your son. i can understand you being worried. i think when we lose someone it always makes us realize how precious life is and how you never know. i have a 7 and 11 yr old and i worry alot about them. i lost my mom in july o6 and can't think of anything happening to them. i think he will be fine and so will you. take one day at a time. lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amanda Posted August 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2006 hi shelley and lori,thank you both so much,dont you think this site is great,you talk to people who although you have never met you feel as though they are your only friends who truely understand how you are feeling.again thank youloads of love amanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted August 27, 2006 Report Share Posted August 27, 2006 Hi Amanda,How has your day been? Mine was very busy we had my neice's birthday party today she turned seven... The one thing I did feel was a little jealous because her other grandfather and grandmother were present for her birthday and my mom and dad had gone.... But I did put on a happy face so that she would have a good day.... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amanda Posted August 28, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2006 hi shelley,i know that feeling well,after mum died i felt very bitter in a way towards my mother in law because she was here and mum wasnt,i felt guilty and i felt i was an awful person in time i thnk i have over come those feelings but sometimes it still bites.Ive not been to bad well untill i heard about the bombings in turkey and had a 2 second panic what if they hit the greek islands but i soon came back down from that one.darren has kept his promise to call me daily he is having a good time and im really pleased for him,he deserves a good time to be able to pass his exams as well as dealing with grief shows alot of maturity and courage.i would say that im his mum.Im very proud of my kids they are great people to know and a pleasure to have brought up.shelley remember you dont always have to put a happy face on,even after a party you can always find some where to have a good cry or come here and let your feelings out.I bottled my feelings up for to long and are now paying for it,slowly getting better though.loads of loveamanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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