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What Death Has Taught Me


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When you lose someone you love, your soul moves to another “place.” This “place” is shared only by others who have also lost someone they love. You know they’re “there” by the look in their eyes when they tell you how sorry they are for your loss. They have traveled the “journey” you’re about to travel and know the emptiness you feel. This “place” is where your life seems to stand still for a while. You are still physically here, yet you sense you’re just not “here” right now.

To the observer, your life is carrying on. Insides, however, those who have been “there” know you’re still on a journey for a time. You think it must be time for you to “come back” now, and for short periods you do. Then some thing, some place, some song sends you on “journey” again.

Those who have been “there” can journey with you for a time if you let them. Company on a journey is sometimes helpful, and sometimes you must journey alone.

The road on your journey has been much traveled. There are hills to climb, corners to go around and potholes to get through. Flat tires to repair, and tanks gone empty that need refilling. Most welcomed on the journey are the straight stretches. They allow you to coast easily and build up again to approach the next hill with a bit more ease.

As time goes on, the hills become smaller, and the road on your journey does lead you “home” again. At first for short periods of time, and eventually for much longer times. It is a different “home” now and a different “you” now. You will have traveled far and experienced much, and your eyes… your eyes will speak of your journey. You’ll be ready then to guide another, look in their eyes and say, “I am so sorry for your loss.”

Barb Kerr

From Chicken Soup for a Grieving Soul

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