Thank You All

[Taika]

Thank you so much for each and every kind word. I cannot tell you how much better i feel just reading your posts. I really did feel like there was something wrong with me, and now I feel better and know that I will go through this process and not try to push my feeling back down. Thank you for being here, i am blessed to have you guys to listen to.

thanks Karin

[STARKISS]

Hi Karin,

You are very welcome, and I am glad that you found this website.. People here are truly amazing because each of them are going through their own personal grief and yet are willing to share and help others... We are truly blessed Take care Shelley

[jkw]

Hi Karin:

I lost my Mom on June 14, 2006...today is the 4 month anniversary. My sister's name is also Karen!

My parents divorced when I was 2 yrs old (I'm 47 now), and I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years. We write each other, but that's just not the same. My step-dad died in 1998, and I miss him alot. He was more a dad to me.

This site is great. I felt so much better after the first time I wrote...it was so unbelievable! I feel like I am stuck. Most days, I don't feel like getting dressed and doing anything. I sit in my recliner, and just think.

My siblings and I have my Mom's house up for sale (and have for 3 months). My sister and I figured out today that before we can move forward in our lives, the house needs to sell. Sounds, silly huh? I still have my Mom's ashes in my livingroom. I decided that once the house is sold, I will be able to bury my Mom's ashes with her husband, and finally, hopefully, be able to move on with my life (something I just can't seem to do right now)

I miss my Mom alot. I was her caregiver, up until the moment that she died. One good thing that has happened, is I had a dream about her, that I remembered.

I was walking uphill on a brick path. When I got to the top and looked down, there was my Mom, sitting on the ground, planting flowers, and looking very healthy and happy, and she looked up at me and smiled, and said "I just wanted to let you know that I'm OK, and that I am happy!" I told her that I was glad to hear that, and then I woke up. But this is the first time that dreamed about her, and that I remembered every detail. When I woke up, I had a "warm, cozy" feeling throughout my chest. I actually felt good. I hope she comes to me in more dreams to let me know that she's still OK.

For the time being, I feel like I am in limbo. I don't know what to do with myself every day. I don't work, although I have thought about going back, just to have some sort of meaning in my life! The thought of getting up early every day, and leaving my comfort zone doesn't appeal to me right now. I just don't know what to do with myself. I just keep waiting...for what...I don't know. When it comes, I guess I will know. For now, I just wait, and wait.

Sorry for rambling on and on...I guess I got carried away. I am sorry for your losses, and am sorry that all of us are here because we all have lost loved ones.

Take care,

Sincerely,

Kim

[shell]

Kim,

As we always say, don't apologize for "rambling" on. You weren't, you were just telling us your feelings and about your dream (how wonderful!). That's what we're here for.

I know what you mean about waiting and not knowing what you're waiting for! I have that same feeling, like I'm in some kind of holding pattern! And it's been a year and eight months for me! Some days I feel like I'm "getting on with my life" and other days, I feel the "waiting game"! It's a strange feeling.

I, too, felt so much better when I got involved with this board. And I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. It has helped me so much to know there are caring people out there, something I was beginning to think was not true! You all restore my faith in humans!

Hugs to all,

Shell

[jkw]

Hi Shell,

Thanks for your nice response! It's true about this website...I can tell all of you things that I can't tell anyone else, because they just don't understand...they try to, but...

Anyway, when does this waiting game end? One day, I think I am doing good, and the next day, I'm right back where I started from. It's frustrating!

How is your Mom doing lately? And how are you doing lately?

Take care, and thanks to all for being there for me, and for everyone else. It really helps!

Take care, Kim

[shell]

Kim,

I wish I knew when the waiting game ends. It's been a year and 8 months for me and I'm still getting those days when I'm waiting again! Wish I could tell you!

I'm doing ok, but I keep thinking of the title of that movie "Waiting to Exhale"! (There's that word "waiting" again). That's how I feel about 75 percent of the time, but there are good moments too. My mom is about the same. I keep hoping she'll start being more like her old self, but sometimes I lose all hope.

Hang in there. I know the frustration can drive you wacky! Things are bound to get easier, they just have to!

Hugs,

Shell

[lorikelly]

Hi

I can relate to the waiting. i am not sure what i am waiting for but it drives me crazy. i think i should be doing something and even when i am doing something i am still waiting. i think mine comes from being my moms cargiver for so long, the time she was here with me bedridden for 18 mos and then the yrs prior to that when she always need help. i really don't know what to do with out her. sounds crazy i have 2 boys 11 and 8, a husband house and a job sun-wed but still don't know what i am suppose to do. for me i feel like i don't have a purpose anymore, i should have one i am a mother. i feel lost and like i am just exsisting. when the quiet time comes it stinks. it is not even quiet time but when i am home making dinner at night i feel lost. i am getting scared because i don't find joy anymore in anything. i am still hoping that this will get better. i keep praying for all of us. lori

[Rayon]

Hi Lorikelly,

I know how you feel about feeling lost and without purpose in life. I feel so sad, depressed, lonely, you name it without my dad. It's a huge void that was left when he died. And I also have a husband and lots of friends who always get together for gatherings and parties.....but instead of bringing me joy it just irks me that their all laughing, dancing, drinking, eating like if life is all sunshine and roses, and nobody remembers my father. Just hang in there and be strong, there's a lot of good books that I've been reading about grief and healing, and of course this site helps too.

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

I too are playing the waiting game and it has been over a year since I lost both my parents.. I am slowly getting back on track... I still miss them alot but can manage to get through each day... I manage to get through the day only by thinking that my parents would want me to know they love me and that they want me to be happy... Here's to all of us and the wonderful staff here!!! Wishing you all a good and peaceful day..... Shelley