Cleaning/clearing Out

[kellymarie]

So this one is a little wierd. Since Josh died, over the past 7 months, I have gone through absolutely everything I own and gotten rid of stuff I don't need. Not just minor spring cleaning. I'm talking about getting rid of tons of stuff. And now I clean and stay organized so much more frequently. I just keep thinking that if I die unexpectedly, like Josh did, I don't want my family members to have to go through all my belongings and find my place a mess. Right now I'm getting ready to go on a quick trip but I am making sure absolutely everything is clean, organized, and put away. I think, I better unload the dish washer so who ever might have to go through my stuff will think I'm neat and clean. At first I thought is was great to clear out, but now I'm feeling a little morbid... Like I have to make sure my house is ready for me to die at any moment. I went through all of Josh's belongings with his mom that were from his apartment near where I lived. So I know what it's like to be that person to go through belongings. It's just making me feel nutty....

[STARKISS]

Hi KellyMarie,

I too got rid of alot of things after both my parents died. Things like tv sets, couches, chairs, tables and a whole lot of other things... I had seven yard sales and than gave the rest away for free... I did this for the same reason... I do not think it is weird to free yourself from stuff you do not need anymore because your life has changed so your needs are different.... I hope this helps Take care and I will keep you in my prayers Shelley

[MartyT]

Hi Kelly,

If it makes you feel any better, I'm just as nutty as you are. I do the same thing whenever I leave my home, and for the same reason -- I always think to myself that if anything happens to me while I'm gone, I don't want someone to come in and find my house in a mess. I do think it stems from your own experience of going through Josh's things, as I have had to do with both my parents' belongings after they died. Now I am very conscious of what I want my children to find amongst my belongings and in my file cabinets, should anything happen to me. Instead of thinking of this as nutty or wierd, pat yourself on the back for taking responsibility for what you choose to leave behind and for what messes you're not willing to leave for someone else to clean up after you. That, it seems to me, is being very mature and considerate of others -- at least that's how I choose to see it in myself!

[kellymarie]

Thanks Marty! I definately like that point of view! I like considerate better than crazy. And my house is exceptionally clean right now.

[shell]

Kellymarie,

I don't think it's nuts either. Martys way of thinking is right on! I told my family that if I die, please just throw out the things they don't want or give them away or whatever, but just do it and don't feel guilty about it. My mom lately keeps sayng "When I'm not here anymore, I want you to have this or that!" It is making me crazy, as I don't want to think about that! But I guess it makes her feel good, so I go along with it. I think we all think about our own deaths more now. I recently had a will made. I just never thought about having one before!

I think it is good though to think and plan for that.

Hugs,

Shell

[Leann]

Hi, KellyMarie:

I've been on a cleaning toot as well! In fact, my brother Doug has called me the "lean mean cleaning machine." My motivation behind it is to simplify things a bit and travel through my life a little bit lighter. Since Dad died, things that were sooo important before just aren't so important anymore. You're not nutty at all....just really wise.

Hugs,

Leann

[kellymarie]

Shell, Atleast your mom is willing to talk about her belongings and what she would like to happen to them. This weekend I went home and my mom's house is so FULL of stuff it was overwhelming. I told her she was turning into her mom who's house was PACKED when she died. My mom replied with "Well, I'm not going to die." How do you reason with someone like that??? I've been thinking about making up a will for me. Is there an easy way to do it? Do you have to have a lawyer?

Leann, I know exactly what you mean! I'm definately simplifying and traveling through life "lighter." I completely agree about how things before seemed so important just aren't important anymore!!! My new saying is "It's just STUFF... it doesn't mattter!!!!"

Love, Kelly

[shell]

Kelly,

Wow, I don't know how you deal with that! I guess it's good that she has a positive attitude!

I went to a lawyer because I've heard that it is really important to know the state laws and a local lawyer is the only way to be sure of that. It's easy (assuming you know what you want done and don't have massive amounts of property and money...like celebrities or whatever!) but it's not exactly cheap! But it's something everyone should do I guess. Makes it much easier for the people left.

Hugs,

Shell

[Leann]

Shell, Atleast your mom is willing to talk about her belongings and what she would like to happen to them. This weekend I went home and my mom's house is so FULL of stuff it was overwhelming. I told her she was turning into her mom who's house was PACKED when she died. My mom replied with "Well, I'm not going to die." How do you reason with someone like that??? I've been thinking about making up a will for me. Is there an easy way to do it? Do you have to have a lawyer?

Leann, I know exactly what you mean! I'm definately simplifying and traveling through life "lighter." I completely agree about how things before seemed so important just aren't important anymore!!! My new saying is "It's just STUFF... it doesn't mattter!!!!"

Love, Kelly

Exactly, Kelly! I just think it's so sad to work so hard all one's life for all this "stuff" that a nursing home can take from you, that families disagree over, etc. etc.

Hugs,

Leann