Am I Being Stupid?

[uncertain]

hey all

well this is my first time here,went looking for theese once before but had no luck.

i lost my boyfriend of 3yrs (he was my first love, but i was sure he was the one, and he felt the same way) 2yrs ago this month (i was 18 at the time, he was 27). i have held myself pretty together and have stayed strong for the last 2yrs but lately i dont know what has came over me but its like it has hit me. i thought i had moved on and became over it. but lately i break down for no reason, even today at work i almost started cryin, which is soo unlike me. i hate people fussing over me, and knowin when im down.

yeah, i cant really talk to my family about it, cause they just wil think im being srupid, ive been strong for 2yrs and should b over it and accepted it, but i dont know...

lately its like hit me, and im beginnning to break down finally, but why after so long? like there hasnt been day since it happened where i dont miss or think about him. but never have i been this emotional

anyways sorry all

hope everyone is goin alright, im glad i found this sites, as i think it wil help talkin to people can relate.

linda

Edited November 2, 2006 by uncertain

[BeeMay]

hi linda.

I am new here too.

If there is one thing I've leaned here is NO FEELINGS IN GREIF ARE STUPID!!They are real and unique to your situation. Not completely unique though, as I have found here, lots of us are going through similar feelings at differnt times.

I am sad that you lost your man.The numbers are familiar,My hsuband was 27 when i met him and I was 18 at the time:)

you are ?21 now? Maybe you are starting to think of wherre you would ahve been if? feelings. 2 years is nothing. My mothers death has brought back feelings of loss in my husband for his mum who died 23 years ago.

I'm not sure why now, I know for myself, after my mothers funeral, I had a few quiet down weeks and then life seem to settle back into its routine, but then she'd come peeking out LOL so to speak and catch me unawares and bang I'd be a teary heap. I'm still like that now, esp at bedtime.

i hoep it gets easier again for you.

regards

bee

[kayc]

Dear Uncertain/Linda,

I am sorry you lost your Love, and especially so early in life. It is a very tough thing to go through. It could be that you've held it at bay until you were more ready to deal with it...but one thing is for certain, there's no getting around it, we need to grieve. It's not much fun, but a necessary part of healing and we really can't move on without working through it first. And I'm not sure that we ever do really "move on" but rather learn to live with what we must. The person we lost we will never forget or entirely stop missing. That is their tribute to what they mean to us.

I wish you the best in your grief/recovery, please continue to stay with this site, it's been of immense help to me and each and every person on here means so much to me.

[chrissy777]

uncertain,

It is not stupid and dont feel sorry for posting it helps alot. I lost my husband 4 months ago and if there is one thing I have learned it is nothing goes as you expect it to. There are days I actually feel really good and the horrible days where I cry all day. I beleive everyone is different. I think maybe it has really hit you that he is gone and you think about how it couldve been. I am 25 my husband was 36. It is hard losing at any age but for us I think the biggest thing is you feel cheated out of so many years together. Dont ever feel like you are not feeling what you should feel b/c there is no way we should feel. Its individual to each person. Take care Thanks Kayc you mean alot to us too.

Edited November 2, 2006 by chrissy777

[STOO]

Linda, There is nothing stupid, or even unusual about the grief you are feeling. Perhaps the anniversary, 2 years this month, of his death is bringing it all back. That is perfectly normal, and you are most certainly not alone in experiencing that. I hope that you will continue to come here - you will not find a group of more loving and suppoportive people. And the more posts you read, the more you will learn about grief - and that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and no set timetable for "recovery". I share your sorrow with you, and hope you will find some solace with your family here. ~Stoo~

[gabrielle_land]

Linda,

Im sorry for your loss, months or years it is still a painful thing to carry through life and nobody else but you really know what you are feeling, so don't let others tell you how are you supposed to feel. It's a very common thing that after some time everybody keeps on with their lives and plans, as before, and only those who are left with the pain of losing a loved one know how it feels to see time pass by, but still stuck in that day when our soul was torn in half, a wound we carry in our soul and that's why others can't see it, and think that's why we should be fine..

I lost my three years boyfriend four months ago he was 30, I'm 23. He was the love of my life, and though only four months have passed, even my mom ends the topic as soon as I start talking about him with "well, now he's in heaven", I understand what you mean about not being able to speak with your family about it, but remember here we all know what you are going through and you can feel free to post anytime.

Take care and hope this place may be of some help to you.

Gaby