Weekends Are Forever Long

[janieb0828]

This was one of the worst weekend of my life. It has been so hard, Mike and I usually went out of town this past weekend. Just a get away for us. It was so hard to just be at home. My friends all tried to keep me occupied this weekend but I just sat in a daze while they all enjoyed thereselves. They tried at least.

I don't know if I can ever be the same again. I know everyone keeps saying time heals all. But I just don't think that I believe in that. Talking to people helps, but I have this total emptiness inside.

I am trying to be strong for our boys, but it really isn't easy. Oh how I wish I would wake up from this long nightmare. Thats what it feels like, I am having a horrible nightmare and sooner or later I am going to wake up.

Janie

[chrissy777]

I am reading and alot of people had a bad weekend it seems. I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that Thanksgiving is right around the corner? Everything just seems like some horrible nightmare. I think of the day he died and it just seems like something I dreamed or something you see in the movies. I wish we could all wake up from this nightmare and have out loved ones with us.

[kayc]

For me it has nothing to do with Thanksgiving...I haven't even let myself think about that much yet. It has to do with the fact that "before", weekends were special, I looked forward to them because that was OUR time. He worked so far away during the week and I worked two jobs so come Friday night, it was OUR time until Monday morning! Now...well it's not the same, you know that, and it never will be. And everyone else's lives went on as if nothing happened, they still have their Love, their life, their weekends...

[dpodesta]

Janie,

I thought the same thing for a very long time. I just knew it was a nightmare and I was going to wake up and everything would be as it was. I have finally after 7 months realized that this isn't a dream and it is all real. Time does heal, but remember this, we will never be totally healed from this. We are different people now. Who we were when wwe were married is now different and always will be. I like to think that I am a better person now, I appreciate life a lot more than I did. I know that and have experienced that we are not guarrenteed tomorrow. I wish you all the best and may God grant you some peace.

Derek

[chrissy777]

Derek,

I agree about being a better person now. When Jason was alive I took so much for granted. Not anymore. I think of everything as a gift from God and I pray to never take anything like our time together for granted again. It is a real eye opener.

[Laurie]

Chrissy and Derek, I agree with you both. I think alot about how much I have learned. Even though this is such an awful time, I know I'll forever be more caring, sympathetic, understanding, patient and appreciative. I feel now, as though I was very self absorbed before and it took this to open my eyes. Laurie