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This Morning I Plan To Return To The Hospital


jc1030

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And to visit the ICU where my dad died. I plan to give the unit a Christmas present to show my gratitude for the care they gave my dad in the last four days of his life, and to give some individual gifts to the chaplains who were there when I needed people to talk to. I'm slowly mustering up the courage right now.

It has to be very hard for the staff at times especially when they see people lose loved ones. It's funny, on the same floor of the hospital where the ICU is, on the other end is the maternity ward. One the one end, you have the celebration of new life, and on the other you have a place where many people spend their final days. I remembered having to walk by the maternity ward every time I needed to use the elevators, and I just could not get myself to be happy for the families who were welcoming a new life onto this earth.

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Well, it wasn't too bad, but it was tough once I entered the hospital and began to take the steps that I took many times from the ground floor to the ICU. Every step got tougher and tougher, but I finally made it and gave the staff the gifts. The room where my dad was in and died was occupied. But I did it. The nurse tried to comfort me as much as possible and wanted me to remember the good times and to try as much as possible to have a good holliday time.

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The first time I had to go to the hospital after Mom died was strange. It was a little surreal (to borrow a word from your other topic, Jeff).

I had to go because my landlord was there with an injury. Anyway, he was on the same floor as Mom was when she died. I remembered the nurses and they remembered me. It was really strange, I tried to find the room where she died, but couldn't. I couldn't make sense of the room numbers.

I was able to after calming down a little, but it was occupied. A little sad, at that. I wanted to sit in there for a little while.

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I had to go to the hospital where Sean died yesterday. My son got his front tooth knocked out playing hockey. No dentist offices open on Sundays, so I had to take him to the ER. It was just those little cubicles with the curtains around them, but I clearly remembered the one Sean was in, just a few down, that was tough and it made me feel sick. I went into the bathroom and saw that my face and neck were beet red, don't know why. But that wasn't where he died. I thought about going up to the 2nd floor, to that room but I couldn't. Eventually we had to be transported by ambulance to another hospital where they had someone who specializes in dental surgery. What a crazy day, my brother had to come and pick up my little one, as they wouldn't let him in the ambulance with us. I had to call my ex-husband to pick us up at 1am. He drove us back to the first hospital, where I had left my car eleven hours earlier with a trunk full of groceries! We got home at 2am to find someone had left a Christmas tree on our porch. What a day!!! And I had to be at work at 6am the next morning. I should sleep good tonight! So the tooth is back in, we just have to hope the roots "take." There is a 40 percent chance of that, otherwise he'll have to have a root canal. We decorated the tree tonight and the kids were happy about that. Well, I feel like I'm going on and on. I need sleep! Laurie

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  • 1 year later...

My dad died over 2 weeks ago and 4 days to be exact I walked outside his home to smoke out silly that was he was dying of lung cancer he had been down only 4 days I felt a peacefullness when I went in to close his eyes my stepmom was scremaing telling him not to leave I said I love you daddy I know your spirit is everywhere now ,My dad took care of his self until the last week when my step mom and his sisters my niece me and my brother just watched we had never seen our father weak and not strong we were in denial we loved our dad so much he taught us right from wrong nd strength I thank god every day for my dad and mom I still have mom shes silly and thinks shes falling apart all the time my parents were divorced 22 years ago and my mom went over his last few days he would ask her to check his oxygen every time that made her feel good he would wake up and worry about step moms bills if there was food and drinks for all of us there he was so strong til the end iM sop proud to be his daughter,please just think of what made your dad happy when you were happy.

Teresa Bennett

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