I've Got To Stay Hopeful~!

[Mrcelloboy]

Approaching the year anniversary of losing my partner Kathy, I'm facing what seems to be a step backwards in my emotional well-being.

Despite joys in my life; the love of a new partner, continued survival, so many loving friends and family, a decent job, etc., I also feel what seem like frequent pangs of fear, insecurity and sadness. The job that I once loved feels stressful and less meaningful. There are moments I feel like I'm killing myself from within with my worries.

I've always been such an optimist that I feel I've GOT to keep telling myself that I'll feel better as time goes on, that I just need to keep re-focusing on the good and joyful, honoring my grief and loss, and giving myself positive reinforcement. When i'm feeling insecure it feels like that's what is present most, but maybe that's an innaccurate assessment.

It is SO HARD sometimes~!

If you have thougts to share, please consider that I'm a spiritual person, but not religious.

Thanks for listening (and sharing in advance),

Maury

[karenb]

Maury,

It sure sounds to me like you're experiencing everything that we all do at one time or another. You definately are "going forward." Fear, insecurity, sadness, worries - that must be so uncomfortable for an optimist like you, but they sure sound "normal" to me. You're right...it is SO HARD. I'm just a little over two years in this and I've experienced much of what you are....as you know, it just takes time. You are very lucky to have found a new partner, loving friends and family. Just keep focusing on the good and joyful and keep giving yourself positive reinforcement. I salute you for all you're doing.

Your friend, Karen

[Mrcelloboy]

Thank you Karen.

I was feeling stressed here at work (I'm sort of a hybrid of sales and technical support for a dynamic company going through a growth stage) so I just got into my Halloween costume (as a woman) and my mood has improved for now.

[shell]

Mrcelloboy,

I think you have a wonderful attitude and are definitely on the right track. These changes in mood are so normal. We all call it a rollercoaster ride and that's exactly what it is. It's just as more and more time goes by, the upside of the ride lasts longer than the plunge. So, just remember that this too shall pass. And keep up the positive attitude, it really does help.

Hugs,

Shell

[WendyJ]

Oh Maury could you please show us a picture of your Halloween costume ? You sound like you have a wonderful sense of humor and I admire that so much in a person, especially with what we are all going through. I too am trying to stay more positive but it is so hard as I have always been the worry wort of the two of us and now there is just me. Being I am a woman with responsibilities of a house and cars etc and the only bread winner now I am scared half to death !!!

Love,

Wendy

[Mrcelloboy]

I'm the one on the left... that's our CEO in the turban.

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[lyn]

Maury,

Like you i am also an optimist, and i can relate to what you are feeling. Sometimes, it is really hard to stay afloat when you are bombarded by several problems. However, your positive outlook will help a lot. It may seem be full of worries today, but i can assure you it will pass. Allow yourself to reflect on them. You have come this far, and my prayers are with you as you approach the one year anniversary.

And u have a nice sense of humor..great picture here..Thanks for sharing this. It made me smile.

[DesertBob]

Boy this reminds me of the Halloween parties at a former employer of mine ... never cared for costume parties one bit. Last one I went to I put on an orange wig and wore a t-shirt that said, "Here's my costume. Give me the damn candy."

It was, actually, the hit of the party for some reason ... probably because half the people there were pretending to enjoy themselves ...

Seriously though, you have to shave better next time ...

--Bob

[Corinne]

Maury,

Thank you so much for posting the picture. I can't stop laughing. Having a sense of humor does help to relieve the stress sometimes!

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

[Maylissa]

I just read your thread, Maury, and have to say that you inadvertently helped me feel a bit better, in that if you are feeling how you are, even with "so many loving friends and family, a decent job, etc.", I can hardly blame myself for feeling as down as I do, since I DON'T have the same supportive environment around me. You've just helped me feel more compassionate understanding for myself, and that's a welcome relief. So thank you.....and also for sharing that wild pic of yourself! You ought to be very proud of yourself for even having gone out to a Halloween party with/by yourself, if not exactly for your good looks as a woman.

And Bob..... You're KILLIN' me! Your style of humour is SOOOO like ours, it's not (or rather, IS) funny! I'm keeping your costume in mind cuz I hate coming up with these things, too....too perfect! As Robin Williams would have said, "Trick or Trout!" everybody!

[WendyJ]

Maury I couldn't have noticed you posted this picture at a better time. Was sitting here feeling lonely and sorry for myself and saw your picture and got a big smile on my face ! Thanks so much for posting that, you really made my day ! You look like you are a real fun loving person and I admire that.

Love,

Wendy

[shell]

Maury,

Thanks for the pic! It made me laugh too. Having a sense of humor is essential to surviving life I think. You obviously have one and I really admire that.

Hugs,

Shell