shubom Posted October 31, 2007 Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Hello Everyone, It's been a long time since I've logged on. My mother passed away Jan 06 without warning. I still can't believe it. My dad passed away in 1999 without warning also. I miss them both very much. I've learned to move on with my life. And mostly it's gotten better. However I still feel broken. I'm 31 now, but I don't feel like it. I feel older. What hurts is that I don't have the motivation and fiery drive like I did when I was younger. Years after my dad passed, I was able to get 80% of my drive back. Still didn't feel like my 'true' self. But I was happy with my mom and my sister. We were so close, doing everything together. Then BAM!!! my mom passes. Now my drive is slowly at a standstill about 50%. I do what I can to stay afloat. Try to stay busy. I feel like I'm getting stronger everyday, but there are those hard times. Earlier this year, my sister got married. I was so happy for her. But at the same time, sad. Sad that my parents couldn't be there, and since I was the oldest, I had to be the one to see her off. And ever since then, I've been worried about my life. When I will meet someone and have a family of my own. I'm becoming so desperate. Hearing about friends and acquaintances getting married and having babies, just bums me out. I don't want to attend any of the functions or even hear about them. I mean, I'm really happy for them, but that's good for them. While they are gaining family members, I'm losing them ! It's sad. Is it normal thinking like that?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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