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Christmas Cards


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I wonder if anyone else is having difficulty with Christmas cards. The ones I receive from ones who know my loss with only my name on them and the ones I receive from people who don't know about Will addressed to Mr and Mrs. Both are equally as painful I think. I found something I think would be helpful to enclose in cards if you so desire to send any. I can't quote the source. It may be from some of the archives here. I am just not certain where I found it. But it seems so appropriate for the way we all feel.

My Dear Family and Friends,

I have experienced a loss that that is devastating to me. It will take time, perhaps years, for me to work through the grief I am having because of this loss.

I will cry more than usual for some time. My tears are not a sign of weakness or a lack of hope or faith. They are the symbols of the depth of my loss and the sign that I am recovering.

I may become angry without there seeming to be a reason for it. My emotions are all heightened by the stress of grief. Please be forgiving if I seem irrational at times.

I need your understanding and your presence more than anything else. If you don’t know what to say, just touch me or give me a hug to let me know you care. Please don’t wait for me to call you. I am often too tired to even think of reaching out for the help I need.

Don’t allow me to withdraw from you. I need you more than ever during the next year.

Pray for me only if your prayer is not an order for me to make you feel better. My faith is not an excuse from the process of grief.

If you by chance, have had an experience of loss that seems anything like mine, please share it with me. You will not make me feel worse. This loss is the worst thing that could happen to me. But, I will get through it and I will live again. I will not always feel as I do now. I will laugh again.

Thank you for caring about me. Your concern is a gift I will always treasure.

Sincerely,

Suzanne

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Suzanne...I to have been recieving christmas cards and like you I have with each card that comes. Thank god they are addressed to only me if Bruce name was on them I think that i would loss my mind. What am I saying sometimes I think that I have already lost it. Today I put up a few christmas decorations...who would have thought that putting up a few things could send me into to a crying fit,but it did. I never thought that this would happen to me. Thought that we would have so may more christmas's together but I guess it was not to be. Like everyone else I am so tired not sleeping well not eating right...god I cann't wait till the holiday's are over. Suzanne take care of yourself. Gail :wub:

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I'm starting to receive Christmas cards (addressed just to me, thank goodness). But I'm not planning to send any cards, because it's only been a couple of weeks since I sent thank-you notes to people who sent sympathy cards, called, or made donations in Bill's memory. I hope no one will be upset because they didn't receive a card from me.

Suzanne, if I were sending cards I'd probably use the message in your post. It's beautifully written.

My little tree is still the only decoration I have. I thought I might put a few ornaments on it, but now I'm not even sure I'll do that.

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My first Christmas without, I did not send out cards. To those who sent a card to "George and Kay", I sent a personal contact letting them know of my loss. By the next year, I heard from far less people and my Christmas mailing list greatly dwindled. I hope this is not the case for you, but it was my experience...those who I'd considered friends, along with George, disappeared. I really wouldn't worry about anyone being offended by not getting a card this year, when they learn of your loss, they should understand how hard it is. And true friends stick around no matter what, the ones who don't, well they just save us postage next Christmas. :blush:

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Being that this is the third Christmas without Larry (the first shortly after he died) I haven't sent a Christmas card out myself to anyone. I couldn't bring myself to do it and still will not again this year. As a result, I only receive a couple of cards each year. How ironic, the ones who haven't gotten a card from me were probably offended and now, don't write to me either. Just as well, I don't want to read them anyway. Deborah

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Well my first Christmas card was from my daughter and her husband and it was her dog with a santa hat, very adorable, didn't bother me at all. My second came yesterday (usually by now I have tons of cards) I cried my eyes out ! It was from my neighbors and they did write just Wendy and Melissa but the scene on the front of the card was just so beautiful and my first thought was to show it to Steve because it had a beautiful deer on it and it was so lovely, then it hit me he is no longer here to show it to him. Honestly I hope that was my last card ! I did not send any this year and who knows when I will again. If I get any more I may ask my daughter to open them and tell me who they are from and sadly throw them away as I don't care to see them. Baa-Humbug !

Wendy :wub:

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Wendy,

After George died (I am an avid rubber stamper) I ran across a stamp that said "Bah, humbug!" and I bought it...but I never had the nerve to use it. It is how we feel sometimes, though! :rolleyes:

I just re-read what I wrote a year ago about this...

http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?show...=1786&hl=humbug

Edited by kayc
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Wendy I know how you feel. I have gotten a few christmas cards and like you each one makes me cry. But also I am glad that people are still thinking about me and my family...it's like a double edge sword it hurt when they come and it hurt if they don't :blink:. Gail

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All of the cards I have received have been addressed to my family. I am fortunate to have my 3 boys at home with me. I have given the cards to the boys to open and have then have thrown them out. We usually display all the beautiful cards we get, but I can't do it this year. The boys put some lights on the house. It was something they always did with their father. I have to step back sometimes and remind myself that they too are grieving, and try to do things that comfort them. Teri B

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You know, that first Christmas, I think I didn't read most of the cards until after Christmas, it made it a little easier to handle because I'd already survived Christmas.

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