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Been Awhile Since I Posted


Stallyn

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Hey all, Wendy's been on me to post, lately I been running away from the things that bother me the most, maybe not successfully, now others push me not to talk about it, and trying to handle the load typically the way its always been, no one wants to hear my loss anymore being a year already, when I do talk of it, I try to forget it ever happened. I am still here, lurking in the shadows.

God bless,

William

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William

I, like you have not posted in a while. The March 2nd sadiversary took its toll and I have nothing postive to contribute but I as well lurk around. Thinking about each of us who travel this journey, a very dark lonely place at times but the beautiful memories we must hold close to get us through this. I'm beginning to feel as though it was another lifetime ago, someone else.

At least here we can share our heartache, no one will tire of hearing of it. Hang in there.

Suzanne

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William,

Whatever pain you have is real and it seems that sharing here can be very helpful. I don't think there's a person here that doesn't miss talking to you. I know I do. Even though now it isn't helpful for me to do any dwelling on the unhappy past I do dwell on the beautiful past, but I've been in this for some time now. You must know that this "family" is very special and wants to remain a family, including YOU! Stay with us and let us know about your good and your not-so-good times. We all care about you.

Your friend, Karen :wub:;)

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Hi Suzanne, how you been? it was the 2nd for me too, I came out being sick the days leading up to it and no one was available to come by and see me through it, as a result I been holding in the emotions and sorrow, putting up a fake smile and saying its "ok" Karen, you too, I hate the past, and it does creep up on me sometimes, it now feels it was just a dream, a bad one at that. I need to find a feasible way to break out of my shell and just talk about it, old habits ar just hard to overcome. Of course here is my family, though I don't follow through it, sometimes I am at a loss of words or scared to open up about whats bothering me or helping someone else. I give Wendy alot of credit bringing me back to this place, I couldn't imagine life without this.

Love,

William

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We are a good family to each other! You just keep working on what you feel you need to. We all do and it's our lives. I can't even imagine anyone not having a thing to work on....that's just life, right? I'm glad you and Wendy are friends, she's a wonderful person as you know. In your new environment have you found a "group" like you had before and a caseworker to help you through troubled times? I hope so. Please hang in there, my friend, you are important and come back again.

Your friend, Karen :wub:;)

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The best :) I been busier than I like to be, but I need to attend some groups and its been in my mind alot lately, making a small change needs to grow further, but its a new challenge I need to muster some energy to do. Wendy is really something, very big heart and a great sense of humor :) Thank you Karen for that affirmation, its been very infrequent to hear it. huggs!

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William and Karen you are both too sweet and I thank you for all your compliments. You are both very dear to me and William you know you and I have become friends for our lifetime. Please do not forget that you have helped me also through some very bad days and have made me laugh so many times. William you know I tell you like it is, I would never lie to you and I get on your butt when you don't take your meds when you are supposed to. I knew if I could get you to start posting again you would feel better as this is our family here and I knew everyone was missing your posts. Why everyone thinks they have to post positive posts is beyond me guys, if all we could do is post positive things we wouldn't be here in this group, right? Whatever happened to getting your feelings out, or asking others for advice and opinions? Whatever happened to telling our problems and feelings which in turn made others feel better knowing they we not alone in theirs? Hint hint to you too Suzanne ! Hehehe

Love you all,

Wendy :wub:

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Wendy, I believe everythign happens for a reason and us meeting is a divine purpose, to share and show me there is a purpose and life to be made ahead, and keeping tabs on me, I always respect and honor your words and intentions. I f I stumble it affect you guys and i need to stay upright, and rememer, being alone is not really alone despite the distance. Just to reach out and express, is a milestone, and I learned so much from you guys, in this life to the next. You are right on, I feel only to post when things are ok, but if I can get past the pride, numerous times I been told i have to just be myself and realize to open up and get past the macho ism. Suzanne, you not alone, right? I guess taking on the world in ones palm eventually just becomes a two handed burden. I love each and every one of you, if I cant show it, I mean it from the bottom of my heart :)

Love,

William

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William,

Good to see you on the boards again! I have felt sometimes that I'm down in the dumps and that I don't want to post it...then I remember that's why we're all here! If we can't vent to each other here, then we can't vent anywhere! This is one family that accepts us, warts and all. So please post when you're feeling down too. We all care about each other and worry when we don't hear anything from one of us!

Hugs,

Shell

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Hi Shell, Its pride getting in they way for me, Of course when feeling bad who wants to hear it? It is a loss of words in such a way. I have my friends here I miss :)

Love,

William

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William my friend,

It is so good to see you post. I worry about you. I have not been posting much lately either, also lurking in the shadows. :ninja: I am trying to find a job and I had forgotten how much I hate going on interviews, etc. I also passed the 1 year since we last saw John on Feb. 24 and now I am in the middle of the 2 months it took to find him. I am also dealing with John's crazy family. They found my phone # several weeks ago and called. I told them I could not speak to them after everything that they did to me and ended up hanging up on his aunt and told her not to call my # again. I also just received an email from a good friend from where I used to live and she said she ran into John's sister and she said that she was mad that she had not seen the girls since Aug. when we moved. That is not the truth, she has actually not seen or called to check on the girls since May when they showed up at my older daughters 8th birthday party (the first without her Dad) with lists of John's things that they wanted. She also told my friend that she was going to try and get custody of my girls. My friend told her that they were my girls and that I could take them anywhere I wanted and then her husband pulled her away before it got ugly. I know that there is no possible way that she could ever get custody but it is just the fact that it stirs up all the ugly memories of the things that they did to me. Oh well, sorry for the long post I really just wanted to say that it is good to see you posting again.

Hugs & prayers, :wub:

Corinne

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Corinne, thanks so much, I wondered about you too, its been a rough patch for you with his family poring salt on the wounds, why dont they realize just to go away and live their lives away from you, Kudos to standing up to them, how did they manage to get your number and why do they insist on bothering you with their drama? No way is she able to take the children away, her behaviors itself is against her if she ever tried. Maybe sending some "boys" over there and straightening them out :ph34r: please don't apologize for the post, if you cant talk about it here where can you? It disturbs me they just cant lay off you, can you resort to a restraining order? thought thats another headache you don't need.

Love,

William

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William,

Thanks for your support. If they would continue to bother me I would get a restraining order. As for sending the boys, I would just give Wendy a call and she and I will go take care of them.LOL :lol: Thanks for the laugh, I needed it and miss your sense of humor!

Hugs & prayers, :wub:

Corinne

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You welcome, we can always send Wendy too, :ph34r: happy to make you laugh, I like that :) Hopefully it come to a restraining order, not too bright for them not to back off, what kind of job have you found lately?

Love,

William

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William,

Personally I would like to stay home and draw and paint but there is no health insurance in doing that <_< so, I am looking for work in an office. It is hard because I cannot and will not work evenings or weekends because of my girls. So I am just looking and believing that I will find the right job when the time is right.

Hugs, :wub:

Corinne

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That would be nice if you could do that, health insurance so outrageous now, what kind of work in a office? could you sell your paintings on ebay or word of mouth? It can be so complicated doing everything yourself, but are things looking up now otherwise?

hugs,

William

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Corrine, I guess I'm just jumping in here but you are such a caring and good person that it's just hard to think of people doing those things to you. You stand up for yourself, don't hide from them, let them know they have no right to treat you like this. What's the matter with them? You stay just as you are. Boy, those kind of actions really get my Irish up. My birth name is Monaghan so I have a right to some Irish. You hang in there, girl. Don't let them get to you. Good luck on the job hunting. I'm glad I don't have to do that anymore, but I volunteer and I just became our local food bank's Treasurer, so now I'm on the board. I'm so glad I'm finding ways to help others because it makes me happy. Take care, girl. You're dong just fine.

Love you, Karen :wub:;)

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The good kndhearted ones always get a broken heart, why is that? Now Wendy is upset :ninja: Karens Irish and Wendy and I's Italian, well it bea force to reckon with :wub:

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William, Wendy & Karen,

You guys are the best!! :wub: I don't know what I would do without you to make me laugh. :D By the way I have some Italian to add to the mix. My Jimmy was half Irish and half Italian so I know what a force that combination can be. :blink: Thanks again for your support.

Hugs & prayers, :wub:

Corinne

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Corinne, I enjoy talking and making you laugh, you are awesome too! Oh now we for sure have a volatile mix going on, thank you for your support too, I can count on you guys being here :wub:

Huhs & love,

William

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