Finding My Banana Bread Man

[suzanne]

Received my copy yesterday and can almost not put it down. Each page I say to myself, yes I felt that way. I was the caregiver for my husband for 2 years before his death although I have never talked about it here. He had cirrhosis of the liver due to excessive drinking but had stopped in June 2005 as soon as the first symptoms appeared. I admired him for the courage to do it on his own. Ultimately, he had a septic infection and bleed to death internally. It was too late although we stayed in denial as he was improving so we thought. I felt frustation, exhaustion and at times not as kind as I should have been. Feelings that have eaten me alive. Trying to hold down a job, take care of my beloved Will and maintain some semblance of normal. At times I have to put the book down because the pain becomes too real. But now I realize I was not alone in the guilt. There may be those of you who judge me as he brought it on himself but you didn't live those last two years of his life when he tried so desparately to get well. This book has brought many feelings to the front although through different circumtances that I needed to face. Thank you John for writing it.

Suzanne

[Dusky]

Suzanne,

I am grateful the book has provided confirmation that what you faced others have as well. It was one of the reasons I wrote it. I knew others had the same type of experiences when caring for their loved one. You are not alone.

Peace and Love,

John - Dusky is my handle on here

Love you Jack

[lorikelly]

Where do i get the book? i would love to read it. lori

[kayc]

Suzanne,

There's no one judging you here...it doesn't matter that he brought it on himself, we love them regardless and there's none of us that wouldn't bring them back if we could. The important thing is in accepting yourself in entirety, as you did your best, and if your best wasn't perfect, well, it's still your best. None of us is perfect and none of us would do any better given those circumstances. Being a caretaker is hard exhausting, stretching work.