For Scotty And Joea

[Dusky]

Scotty and JoeA,

I read your posts on here and decided to send you this information in a brand new topic. It is a listing of books that may help you through these early weeks and months of grief. Reading can be a powerful means to assist you during this difficult time. I read each and every one of these books listed during the first two years following Jack's death which eventually lead me to writing my own book which I have talked about on this site in the last few weeks - "Finding My Banana Bread Man - A Journey Through Mourning".

Following is the list of books that you may find useful. I found two of the ones I have listed below to be especially helpful. The first is called "Healing After Loss" by Martha Whitmore Hickman. If I remember correctly it was WaltC (member on this site) who first mentioned this particular book on here. It is especially helpful. I would also highly recommend "Letters to Kate" by Carl H Klaus. So many of these books are simply outstanding. I would recommend the healing power of the words of the books above, as well as the others listed (below), to assist you in the healing process.

The rest of the world mistakenly think we are "better" just because we attempt to get back into a normal routine - but the truth of the matter is that we will mourn the death of our loved one forever - the pain will just get easier to adjust to.

It will get better as time passes - but you will always grieve for the loss of your partner. Every tear you cry - every pain that seems unbearable - is simply a true indication of just how much you loved your lost love. The depth of your current pain, is in fact, a mirror image of how much and how deep you loved - wear the tears and pain as a badge of honor.

Here is the list of books that helped me so much in the past. I hope you find that some of these readings help you as well. I have put an asterisk next to a few I found especially useful in addition to the two I mentioned above:

Grief Bibliography

1. Surviving the death of your Spouse Deborah S. Livinson

2. Caregiving Beth McLeod

3. Grief’s Outrages Journey Sandi Caplan Gordon Lang

4. Life and Loss Bob Deits

5. Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul Jack Canfiled Mark Victor Hanson

6. Wherever your go – There you are Jack Kabat-Zinn

7. Unattended Sorrow Stephen Levine

8. Surviving Grief and learning to Live again Dr. Catherine M. Sanders

9. The Mourning Handbook Helen Fitzgerald

10. Healing your grieving heart Alan D Wolfelt Ph. D.

11. Life Lessons Elizabeth Kubler-Ross David Kesler

12. How to go on living when someone dies Theresea Rando Ph. D.

13. A year to live * Stephen Levine

14. Letting go with love Nancy O’Connor Ph. D.

15. The Dying Time Joan Furman David McNabb M.S.N., RN

16. Companion through the darkness * Stephanie Ericsson

17. Don’t let death ruin your life Jill Brooke

18. A time to grieve Carol Staudacher

19. Too soon old too late smart * Gordon Livingston, M.D.

20. The art of Forgiveness, Lovingness and Peace * Jack Kornfield

21. Grieving mindfully Samett M. Kumar

22. When your Spouse dies Catherine L. Curry

23. Five good Minutes Jeffery Bantley, M.D. Wendy Millstine

24. Healing After Loss * Martha Whitmore Hickman

25. The Power of NOW Eckhart Tolle

26. Gay Widowers – life after the death of a partner Michael Shernoff

27. A Journey through Grief Alla Renee Bozarth.Ph. D.

28. When Bad things happen to Good people Harold S. Kushner

29. The Grief Recovery Handbook * John W. James & Frank Cherry

30. Ambiguous Loss Pauline Boss

31. The Precious Present * Spencer Johnson

32. Life after Loss * Raymond Moody & Dianne Arcangel

33. Writings to heal the Heart Susan Zimmerman

34. The Grief Recovery Handbook John James & Frank Cherry

35. When Bad things Happen to Good People Harold Kushner

36. Stillness Speaks Eckhart Tolle

37. In Lieu of Flowers * Nancy Cobb

38. The Other Side and Back Sylvia Browne

39. Blessings from the Other Side Sylvia Browne

40. Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow Karen Casey

41. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying * Sogyal Rinpoche

42. The Loss of a Life Partner Carolyn A. Walker

43. Life on the Other Side Sylvia Brown

44. Transcending Loss Ashley Prend

45. The Heart of Grief Thomas Attig

46. Letters to Kate * Carl H. Klaus

47. When Men Grieve Elizabeth Levang, Ph. D.

48. The Five Things We Cannot Change David Richo

49. Awakening from Grief John E. Welshons

50. Love Lives On Louis LaGrand, PH.D

51. What Buddha Would Do? Franz Metcalf

52. The Book of Awakening Mark Nepo

53. About Alice Calvin Trillin

54. Forgiveness – A Bold Choice for a Peaceful Heart Robin Casarjian

55. Getting to the other Side of Grief Susan J Zonnebelt-Smeenge, R.N., Ed.D

Robert C. De Vries,D.Min., Ph.D

56. Grief Steps Brook Noel

57. Life after Death - The Burden of Proof Deepak Chopra

58. The Essence of ZEN – An Anthology of Quotations The Five Mile Press

59. Pocket Positives of Living – An Anthology Summit Press

Quotations

Hope some of these reading will help.

John - Dusky is my handle on here

Love you Jack

[Scotty]

Thanks John

I'll keep an eye out for them. The more information, the better the understanding.

......Scotty

[karenb]

Hi Dusky,

I just have to tell you that you are such a valuable person in this world and thank you for being there.

Your friend, Karen

[jackietnd1]

Dusky,

Thank you for this list, I am going to order 2 of these books now.

I lost my love one Lawrence 5 weeks ago and the fog is lifted now I am going through like all of us

Thanks again for this list

[MartyT]

Dear Ones,

See also John's Book List

And John's very own book, Finding My Banana Bread Man

[Note to John: I received my very own copy of your beautiful book that you were kind enough to send to me last week, via your dear friend Ann ~ and having just finished reading it (again!) I am so proud of you I could burst. Your book is simply wonderful, John, and I will do everything I can to help you to spread the word about it. Thank you so very much for this most precious gift of love ~ and I can think of no greater way to honor the memory of your beloved Jack than this.]

[Dusky]

Jackietnd1,

I'm glad my list could be of help to you - and - if you ever want to know any details about any of these books, prior to buying them, just let me know and I will try to remember what I can and pass along what I know. I have each and every one on my book shelf. I would do the same for any one else on this site as well.

MartyT,

My Dear Sweet Marty ....

Thank you for your kind words. I am just thrilled that you enjoyed my book. I smile each time someone tells me how much they have enjoyed its message, and can feel the love expressed, which I will always have for Jack. Love, indeed, never dies.

John - Dusky is my handle on here

Love you Jack