Another Family Death

[teny]

HELLOW my friends I dont feel strong enough yet feel very tired and deepresed.Today I had to go to the cemetery the same one that YIANYs grave is .My aunt died .I went to YIANYS grave and cry soo much I still cant believe he is there.I asked GOD for answers and help to go on.Although I just can not believe that I can get some help cause I sreamed for help when my love was so sick.I know we all need answers and help does realy time makes this torture easier?Your far away friend .TENY

[fred]

Hello Teny, I am so sorry you had to return to the cemetary for another funeral, sometimes we do not realize just how difficult life and love can be. At times I think I am just begining to pull myself together, then I fall through a hole and have to start all over again, but this time I know part of the journey. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier with time, but I lost my wife near to when you lost Yiany. I do not think it gets easier, we just get stronger. You have survived this far, you know that some days are a little easier than others, you know how bad it can get. Yes, you are tired; grief makes you tired, pneumonia makes you tired but you are still here, God has more He needs you to do. Take comfort in knowing how much you and Yiany loved each other, how much your children love you. Do not push yourself, take good care of Teny first, everything else will work out eventually. Try to rest. Hugs to you

[DoubleJo]

Teny: I'm so sorry you're getting this big load piled on you, one after the other. It seems that first death starts all kinds of things. Many of us here have had this experience.

Try to isolate each thing, one at a time so you don't feel so overwhelmed.

My mom died 2 months after my husband, my dad 1 year before. I got confused. I didn't know who to deal with first and really needed to deal with the loss of my husband. I received the advice to separate each, give each their own special time. With your health being the most important thing to you right now, I can only suggest you concentrate on taking things very easy and getting stronger. That will help you deal with it all better.

Thinking of you- DoubleJo

[WendyJ]

Teny I am so sorry for the passing of your Aunt and what you are going through. When my Stepgrandmother passed close to the anniversary of Steve's passing it brought it all back for me too, we are all here for you.

Love,

Wendy

[kayc]

Teny,

I am sorry you are going through this again, and that it is another painful reminder of your loss with Yiani.

When we pray, God always answers...but sometimes the answer is not what we want. sometimes it is yes, sometimes it is no, sometimes it is wait. I, too, was praying when my husband passed away. Sometimes God doesn't bother explaining Himself to us, and I wonder if it is because He already knows we wouldn't understand. Once in a while, somewhere down the road, we can see the "why", but not always. That's where the trust part comes in. The longer I have walked with God and the more intimately I have gotten to know Him, the better picture I have discerned of who He is, and of His character. Some of the things I have learned about Him is that He really is a caring being. He hears us. He wants what is ultimately best for us. And He operates within the confines of this world. Without going too heavily into theology, understanding that this world is fallen and not perfect and as such the very laws of nature are affected as well all all of us, imperfect things happen in this world and we are left dealing with all sorts of hurtful unnatural events such as sickness and death and crime. Some people ask "Where was God?" when all of this happened? If we understand that one day this world will be righted and there really is a better place to go to, that gives us hope for our future...hope that our loved one is now okay and we will get to join them. God's role in all of this is not always to interfere in everything that is going amiss in this world, although He does sometimes do just that, but that another way He chooses to participate in our lives is to help us through our trials. When I lost my husband, I, too, railed at God and demanded to know "WHY!"...and He patiently waited for me to let Him once again minister to me...He never left my side, but it was very difficult to pray and feelings of any sort towards God seemed nonexistent. This doesn't mean our faith is gone or even damaged, but rather a part of a a metamorphoses that we go through in our grieving. In the end, my faith emerged intact, perhaps even stronger. I know this is hard for some to hear, particularly to those that are newer in the grieving process...and there are many that may not agree that God is loving or caring at all, and certainly everyone is entitled to feel however they do...I am just relaying what I have experience and noticed. I think back when my children were young and I would tell them "no" and they'd want to know why and I knew they wouldn't understand it if I told them, so sometimes the answers was "because I told you so"...which of course, they never wanted to hear. Later on, however, as they matured and were privy to more information, they could see the "why". I think it is like that with us and God. It is enough for me to know that George is safe with Him and I will be too someday. Perhaps they were spared a worse fate...who knows? I have learned rather than asking "why", to ask "what now?" and ask for His help in going on.

We love and care about you Teny...I wish it were easier.

KayC

Edited May 19, 2008 by kayc

[teny]

thank you all for replying .Days go by and just wait for the night so I can take my pill and sleep maybe he will come in my dream like yesterday and I was so happy that he was home and all his belongoings back to the closet .But....I know no answers .Im not crasy you my far away friends do understand.Thanks so much .TENY

[LarrysGirl]

Teny, your not crazy, your grieving. Your heart is broken. Nothing makes sense in the world anymore. Yanni is with you in spirit and so are all of us here on this site. Rest, please, rest. Deborah

[kayc]

Oh Teny, I would love to have a dream like that...but then it would be hard to wake up!