dpodesta Posted May 23, 2008 Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 For those of you who have been on this site for awhile you know that my wife died from a heart attack a little over two years ago. I have been sitting around the house tonight with a weird feeling that I counldn't explain until just a few minutes ago. A friend at work who has a history of heart problems had to be taken to the hospital this afternoon after he dropped to the floor and told someone to call 911. I talked to his wife this evening and there is something showing up on his EKG that they can't explain right now. Looking at it now, it has brought back some painful memories of the day that Karen died. I just have this uneasy feeling that I can't shake. A feeling that I haven't had in a long time. It being late at night I don't have anyone to call and talk to. It brought back that feeling of lonlyness, wishing I could go back several years and do somethings differently, not to stop what happened to Karen but to just spend more quaility time together. To be able to tell her that I love her and hold her in my arms just one more time. I no longer ask tohe question why, I know in my heart that God has a reason. I just wish I would have had more time, I wish I could have been able to tell her goodbye and that I miss her. In all I have been through these last two years, this has really thrown me for a loop. I have taken a few steps backwards which I haven't done in a long time. Why is it we have to take these backwards steps? Why do I feel this way? I know there aren't any answers to these questions but just asking them and getting it out of my mind and on paper(computer screen)helps somehow, and know that there are those of you out there that really do understand. Please pray for this family and that he will get better.Love always Derek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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