Happy Events Bring Tears

[teny]

Hellow my friends I thought I was starting to feel some reieif but yesterday I went to scool for my grandaughters graduation level 2 to level 3.The family was there exept ONE .The moment I heard her name I started crying and could not stop . My son drove me home and I could not control myself kept cying and crying until I my breath felt like stoping.The night was terrible.and it is like grief started all over again.Is that normal? IM loosing my mind?TENY

[dpodesta]

Teny,

So sad to hear you had a terrible time. What you went through is normal, as time goes on you run across those "firsts" where the one you love is not there and it takes you backwards a few steps. As time goes on you will have fewer of these "firsts" and things will get better. Just keep in mind that yes it is normal to go through all of the emotions when they occur. Take care of yourself and allow your self to feel these emotions.

Love always

Derek

[WendyJ]

Teny I am so sorry you are having a bad time too. Do you know what made me start crying yesterday? It was such a beautiful day and Steve was not there to experience it with me....that's it ! So if you are losing your mind, so am I.

Love,

Wendy

[LarrysGirl]

Teny, I'm so sorry you've been through such a hard time. Its not the grief starting over, its the experiences that we would have shared with the one with love that triggers all the emotions of the loss again. It is the grief, because no matter how well a day is going it is still with us sometimes lying under the surface of our emotions. For me, even at over 2 years, I beg for Larry to be with me sharing certain times in my life. I don't want to have this life without him and yet I still don't know how to live yet. We have no choice but to take it slow, let the feelings come and try as best we can to cope. Your not losing your mind, your grieving. You are not alone, we are all thinking of you and sending our strength to help you. Deborah

[kayc]

Teny,

No, you aren't losing your mind...unless we all are. I am sorry you feel so much pain and loss, it is understandable that you do.

What Deborah said sums it up: "I don't want to have this life without him and yet I still don't know how to live yet." It's hard to understand how something such as death, that we all face eventually, can incapacitate us so drastically, but it seems to. Here is is, three years later for me, and I have to wonder if I have made any progress at all or just messed up my life royally in my efforts to survive. I don't know, we just do our best. Do not feel apologetic for your tears, for they are releasing and cleansing.

My thoughts and prayers are with you,

KayC

[DoubleJo]

Teny:

Almost any new thing will set you off crying. Each thing is a reminder that something is terribly different, someone is missing. This is very normal. I paid off my mortgage which should be a happy time, but again, its' a big reminder that the person who should be here with me at this time is not. It's the money from his death that allowed me to do this. I travel alot, and every time I go somewhere there is always a moment when I start crying. Why? Because it is a reminder that my life is different, and while it is a good different, it is still because of the sad reason that someone died .

Life is ironic. You wait for the happy times and when they come it is for sad reasons. It takes a lot of events and daily living to adjust which means a lot of crying. It eventually smooths out.

Hang in there- DoubleJo

[MariahC]

Teny,

What you've experienced is all part of grief and is totally normal. We, who have lost loved ones, all experience similar emotions at some point in our lives.

During important moments in our lives we notice the physical absence of our loved ones more. The emotions we feel can hit us very hard, especially during happy events, because it's a reminder that our loved ones aren't (physically) here to share them with us. Sometimes we may try not to consciously think about our loss, but during happy events, when all the family have gathered, but one very important person isn't there, it kinda rams home the reality of the change in our lives.

Grief, doesn't "start all over again". It never leaves us. We may have moments or days when we feel "better", but the feelings of loss are still there. Grief is unpredictable and sometimes you'll find the most innocuous things can set you off and have you crying real hard.

I get some strange looks from people sometimes, as to them I'm getting teary for no reason. Yet something that has no significance to them is significant to me as it reminds me of my dad or of a memory of him.

The other day I passed by a stretch of water that we (my dad & I) used to look at from my dad's hospital room window when he was receiving his fortnightly treatments. Dad always used to laugh when we saw the police boat in action. Well I saw the police boat the other day and I immediately felt the tears start to come. It reminded me of all of those times that I would sit with him at the hospital, both of us looking down at the water and talking.

Love M.

[Gail_R]

Teny I know how you feel...just had the birth of my(our)first grandson and I cried...read the birth announcement in the paper yesterday and I cried in it the kids said the grandparents names and the greatgrandparents and them the said that my husband Bruce was Brody's guardine angel it was beautuful but it still made me cry and I think that we will always cry for them but I hope in time that the tears will have some joy in them. You take care of yourself Teny and know that we are all here for you. Your friend Gail