My Little Tiger

[KevinS]

Hello Everyone,

It has just passed 1 month since my cat Tiger died suddenly. It hurt again just as bad as it did right after he died.

Last week, I first received his grave marker and set that on his grave which was really sad. The next day was 4 weeks since he died and then 1 month which really made me depressed. I was mad at myself too because I forgot at first that it had been 1 month.

He was the only pet that I ever really had and was with me for 10 years. I feel so sad, too, that I am the only person that misses him and is grieving for him.

Friends that I have talked to, even ones who have pets, don't seem to understand why I am grieving so much for him.

Missing Tiger,

Kevin

[MartyT]

Kevin, dear, if others don't understand, it's because they don't appreciate the special relationship you had with Tiger. This is your love, and your loss, and only you can measure how much Tiger means to you and therefore, how very much you have lost. Don't let anyone else tell you how much you "should" or "shouldn't" be loving him, missing him, and grieving for him. You've found the right place to take your grief. Here you won't find anyone who'll pass judgment on your legitimate right to mourn the death of your loyal companion.

[KevinS]

Thanks Marty. I think some of my friends don't know what to say at times. I can see the confusion and sorrow in their faces. I think some don't like to talk about grief either.

The other thing that has hit me hard is how empty the house is without Tiger. When I get up in the morning and when I get home after work, I just stand there not knowing what to do. He's not there any more needing me to feed him or wanting to play or just lay in my lap and be petted. Well, now I'm crying again.

Thanks again for your kind words,

Kevin

[Laurena]

Hello Kevin,

I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I found my cat, Fozzi dead in my alley last Saturday, and it's hitting me hard. I have guilt, it is a week today since I have seen him. I went to go for a walk last Thursday night and he snuck out between my legs. I started letting him go out for a few hours for about 2 weeks because I got tired of chasing him all over becasue he always wanted to get out, I told him he better be back when I got back from my walk. Well, he wasn't. I figured he was next door because there are other cats over there and lots of trees so I watched a movie. He still wasn't back by the time my movie was over. I called him again, nothing. I had a feeling something was wrong when he wasn't back by morning. I called and called him, went through the alley. Nothing. I went to to work, came home after work before class. Nothing. After class. Still nothing. Saturday morning I went to go get something to eat and thats when I found him in my alley, dead. I freaked out. My friend bartends Saturdays and I called her and this nice regular came and got him and burried him in his backyard. I couldnt bear to look at him, but he said it looked like he got hit. I keep thinking how my little buddy probably suffered and I was sleeping praying for his return. My friends dont really understand my grief. Ther are cat lovers, but theirs havent died yet. Mine was ripped away from me after only 2 years. I live alone and its hard when I come home now and he isnt there to great me. I still block the doorway as if hes going to try and run out...I look at all the spots he used to lay in. I wake up thinking hes going to be at the end of my bed so I can rub my feet on him....

I do want to get another cat. Actually two. But I am terrified that they are going to want to go outside. I dont want my new kitty to even think about trying to get outside. Its sucks really bad. I had my other cat, Kobe, for 6 years and he ran away and I never saw him again. That was about 5 years ago. Sorry I have been rambling. I am glad I found this site and I hope you are doing better. I am at work so I should stop because I feel that I am about to cry again.

Please take care....

Laurena

[MartyT]

Laurena, dear ~ I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved Fozzi, and I hope you'll continue to find some comfort here. I'm struck by your comment, "I do want to get another cat. Actually two. But I am terrified that they are going to want to go outside. I dont want my new kitty to even think about trying to get outside." It seems to me that, as the responsible adult guardian in this situation, whether or not a new kitty gets to go outside is strictly up to you ~ not up to the new kitty. Perhaps one way you can honor Fozzi, and find some meaning in his death, is to identify any lessons you may have learned from this awful tragedy. You might want to do some reading about this matter of keeping your cat (or cats) indoors. See, for example,

Your Cat -- Indoors or Out?

The Great Debate: Indoor Versus Outdoor Cats (If a pop-up ad for PetPlace appears when you go to this site, simply click on "Close this Window," and it will disappear.)

[KevinS]

Hi Laurena,

I, too, am so sorry for the loss of your Fozzi. It's such a shock to suddenly find out that they will no longer be with you.

My Tiger died unexpectedly in the middle of the night. I heard him wake up from the bed and go drink some water. I figured he would them eat some and then ask to go outside like normal, so I stayed half asleep in bed. Later I heard a strange noise and went out to check and he was lying on the living room floor completely limp. He took a gasp and I checked to see if he was choking on something. He took another gasp and I could feel his heart, which was racing, stop. In less than half a minute he died in my hands and I never got to say goodbye. I was just screaming "No" and crying.

I have so much unresolved guilt. If I had thought to give him artificial resperation maybe he would have revived enough to get to the emergency hospital. Maybe if I got up earlier there would have been enough time. Maybe I missed some change in his behaviour in the previous days. Maybe something happened when he was out earlier in the evening. He did have a medical issue last year that the vet never found the root cause of. Maybe if I took him to a better vet. I buried him on the day he died. I thought about getting an autopsy done but thought "Why? It won't bring him back." Now I wish I had so that I would know what he died from and maybe resolve some of my guilt.

I have thought about getting another cat or two, but I am not ready now. If I do though, I would definitely keep them inside.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Kevin

[kayc]

Kevin,

I'm sorry you lost Tiger...my pets mean the world to me and I can relate totally. They are a part of our household, a part of our family and our routine, and the relationship and interaction we have with them is a very big part of our lives. It's natural to feel that loss and mourn them for some time to come. I lost a dog about 11-12 years ago and I still miss him. It takes some time for us to stop expecting to see them when we walk into a room or get used to the fact that they're gone, but even when we do adjust to that, we still miss them.

Give yourself all the time you need to grieve without paying heed to what anyone else thinks...it is, after all, about you and Tiger's relationship, not theirs.