2 Months

[azusaman]

Tomorrow is the 2 month mark for my wife's passing. The following is part of a verse from a song called "Long Ride Home" that I changed a little bit (the years) and it expresses how I feel this morning. It kind of makes me sad and happy at the same time.

Ted

Twenty three years go by with someone laying in your bed

Twenty three years of things you say you wish you'd never said

How hard would it have been to say some kinder words instead

I wonder as I stare up at the sky turning red

[Fredzgirl]

I've felt those words. I find that I'm such a kind person to everyone but my significant other. But Fred understood me and he would always say, "I don't take it personally." That's good because I didn't mean to personally attack him. I felt safe with Fred, safe enough to be mean sometimes and know that he would still love me. How great is that! If I got agitated with him, he knew I needed space and would go watch t.v. or read a book. As soon as I could breathe again, I knew that I wasn't angry at him but something else. I don't think I'll ever be so lucky to find a love like that again.

[mrspapajohn]

Ted - - Thank you for posting that verse. I felt every word in my heart. Two months was a very difficult time for me (as is every anniversary). I wish you peace.

Kathy

[laurieb]

Ted,

This week was the 7 month mark for me since my husband left me for heaven. Scott would turn to me and say..."are you sorry?" and then smile at me... he knew me so well and knew I never meant to be cross when I had a bad day, I never meant to take it out on him or did he on me. We just got each other! Sometimes he never had to say a word, he would just look over at me and laugh and then I would laugh. God I miss him, if I close my eyes, I can just feel him and see him so clearly. Ted, I am more at peace than I was at 2 months. Lean into your grief, not away.. we can't get around this, we have to get through it...

The one thing that Scott knew and said to me in the hospital the day before he died.. You are so kind to me and love me so much... He knew! and I know how much he loved and still does love me.

I will say a prayer for you tomorrow Ted

Hugs

Laurie

[mlg]

That's the thing I never thought I'd have to worry about was if Tom knew how much I loved him because I put him on such a pedestal and tried to show him in so many ways. Now I still worry did he really know. I can't believe the things we beat ourselves up about.

[Korina]

It is four months coming up on Monday. And I still wonder if he knew how much I loved him and visa versa, too. I hope I will learn soon how to quit beating myself up....

The verse is very poignant - thank you.

Korina

[marsha]

Is it a full moon? Because I've been feeling those feelings of guilt again, too. Except now I guess it's survivor's guilt, like I'm still here and Joe isn't. Ted, that verse was very poignant - I know Joe and I gave as good as we got, but...we're human, not saints. We all lived with our spouses/SO's for X number of years - if we didn't get pissed off, or irritated on occasion...well, you know. Hugs, Marsha