PaulaB. Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Everything seems to be so drawn out and so difficult. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and some days I just want to get in my car and drive as far away as possible and never look back. I feel like I am living Tom's life more than my own and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I don't like it. I keep running up against people and problems with his estate. I have not been able to regroup from his passing and I am so tired. I am not getting enough and very little help from his friends and none from his family. I am almost at the point of telling his family "I give up". I am tired of worrying about his family and his friends. I just want to move on with my life. I want to move out of this house and start fresh and I have to wait another couple of months to even do that. Paula Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryo Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hi Paula, I am sorry that everything feels so difficult for you today. I remember the first few months and I wanted to have everything settled the next day if not before.Everything is a process and nothing was getting done as fast as I wanted but eventually everything did get done. Even to this day 15 months later I am only starting to learn to be patient with myself and others.Sometimes we must put ourself first because we do not always get the help we need from friends and family even if they have good intentions. I hope your day will be better tomorrow. Mary Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hugs to you, Paula. Is there any chance you can get away for even a few days just to rest and take care of yourself? Remember to be very gentle with yourself and do only what you can. Sleep, eat, maybe take a walk to clear your mind. I'm learning that grief is indeed a journey and we have no choice but to walk it at our own pace. I'm sorry that you don't seem to have good support from friends / family. Keep coming here. We all understand what you are feeling. I wish I could take away your pain but all I can do is tell you I am here to listen whenever you need me. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlg Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 I totally agree with Linda. You seem like a very out doorsy person but maybe something like a spa day would be in order. Have you thought about something like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 I went on a road trip with my daughter out to visit my family (a good 12 hour drive, longer including stops to feed the baby). I cried a lot, but it felt right, and I just HAD to get out of Dodge. I hope you are able to do something for yourself that can quiet your mind for a bit (and maybe take a break from worrying about other people, if that is practical). Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Mayhew Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Yep, I escaped for a few days to visit an old school friend in Sweden - she lives near a seal colony and we just walked the dog for hours each day ... talking, I slept a lot, ate a little. She just let me do what I wanted and I will always love her for it . This was only 5 or 6 weeks after Cliff died. I'd highly recommend it too x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulaB. Posted October 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Thank you all for your support. Today was a totally different day. I'm still frustrated, but I feel more at ease for some reason. Maybe it's because I vented here yesterday and your kind words. This is definately the best place for me to be right now. No one else understands a lot of what I am going through, but you all do. Thank you! Paula Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted October 29, 2009 Report Share Posted October 29, 2009 Glad you are feeling better; it sure does help to vent here, doesn't it? Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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