Need Permission To Laugh . . .

[LindaKoz]

On Friday night I was having dinner with my sisters and found myself laughing. I immediately looked at my sisters and asked if they thought Brian would be okay with me having a little fun. They immediately said he would because of who he was -- a guy who really enjoyed having a great time and laughing. I spoke to my counselor about this and she asked me to think about Brian and what I thought he would want. She then explained that in the midst of my grief, small bursts of joy will occur. She called this an oasis of life in the midsts of the shadows of death and said it would not take away from the fact that I am grieving for the loss of Brian or mean that I miss him any less. Rather, it will help me through this grief journey toward healing.

Does anyone else feel guilty if they find themselves having fun? Do you allow yourself to smile or laugh? Do you feel guilty? All thoughts are welcome. Sometimes I feel like I am driving myself crazy. I want to get better though I know it is early (eight weeks today). I want to feel as if I want a new life but I still miss Brian with my entire being. I'm still trying not to look too far ahead. I still love Brian with all of my heart and soul but I think I want to live . . . and in the beginning I did not want to go on. Is this shift "normal"? Thanks for listening again.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

[kayc]

I think we all did at first, that's a normal response. I give you permission to laugh! You NEED to!

[LindaKoz]

Thank you!!! :-)

[Rochel]

On Friday night I was having dinner with my sisters and found myself laughing. I immediately looked at my sisters and asked if they thought Brian would be okay with me having a little fun. They immediately said he would because of who he was -- a guy who really enjoyed having a great time and laughing. I spoke to my counselor about this and she asked me to think about Brian and what I thought he would want. She then explained that in the midst of my grief, small bursts of joy will occur. She called this an oasis of life in the midsts of the shadows of death and said it would not take away from the fact that I am grieving for the loss of Brian or mean that I miss him any less. Rather, it will help me through this grief journey toward healing.

Does anyone else feel guilty if they find themselves having fun? Do you allow yourself to smile or laugh? Do you feel guilty? All thoughts are welcome. Sometimes I feel like I am driving myself crazy. I want to get better though I know it is early (eight weeks today). I want to feel as if I want a new life but I still miss Brian with my entire being. I'm still trying not to look too far ahead. I still love Brian with all of my heart and soul but I think I want to live . . . and in the beginning I did not want to go on. Is this shift "normal"? Thanks for listening again.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

Hi My Friend,

I'm so glad that you are laughing...I have been praying for you...It blesses me to see this...I don't feel guilty but I don't want people that hear me laughing to think that I have totally come off of my grief, because I could change at any given moment...I thought of you today because it is Wednesday and tomorrow is Bob's birthday on a Thursday when he died and it is also 8 weeks for me too...I think you laughing is normal...You go girl....Rochel

[Korina]

Linda:

I definitely have felt guilty when I have found some happiness. I guess it is because somehow we feel we are dishonouring our spouse? And yesterday, I was speaking to a medical receptionist whom I just told about Scott - she said I sounded very upbeat. And I was, as I was talking about the birth of our daughter, as well. Yup, felt guilty. Then a few tears.

Korina