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Well, November 19 will be 5 months. The last couple of days have been quite heavy for me, compared to the relatively enjoyable days while my family visited. On that subject, my parents are thinking of moving out here (Kailyn and I would move in with them), and we have started looking for a place (though it is very expensive here to buy anything). My mom asked me the other day how I felt about the whole idea, since we were starting to take it beyond the discussion stage. I can truly say that I have a degree of excitement about moving in with them. On the other hand, it is going to be very hard to leave the apt building and neighbourhood where Scott and I have lived for the past 15 years. But the status quo is not financially viable, unless I get a raise and take in a boarder. And living with my parents would eliminate the need for daycare for a good part of the year, which is very expensive, also ($800-1200/month). One thing that really hit home when Scott died is the importance of family. Now that my family with Scott is broken, I need to maintain a strong tie with mine (and Scott's), not only for my sake, but for Kailyn's.

I wish so much I wasn't having to make any of these decisions!!!! I want my husband back!

I don't have anything specific planned, which, this time, feels okay. I know I will light the candles. Maybe go and listen to my friend sing at the restaurant. Not sure, yet, so I will play it by ear. I have enough things going on this week, that some quiet time will be nice (and sad, but the kind of sad that I need to feel).

Anyhow, thanks for listening.

Scott, I love you forever and always :wub: ,

Korina

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Dear Korina,

I'm so happy for you to make this move...sure, it will be difficult for you to make this major move but it will soften the grief spells and you and Kailyn will have love and company...What a great idea...You will have be better off financially and that will take the stress away...May God help you with your move...when do you think it will be? What is wub?? too personal you don't have to answer...Bless you, Rochel

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Hi Korina:

This sounds great for you. It is so important at this time to have family with you. Your mom would be a help with the baby and just to have company. People who have not lost their spouses just don't understand how lonely it can get without them.

My husband's sisters are very close to me. Two live in New Mexico and one lives in Texas. Eventually, when I retire, which will be between 3-5 years, I am looking at places most likely in Texas and maybe in Florida (near a good friend) to live. I need to downsize. My house is way too big to take care of. I feel some sadness in that I would be leaving the home that Alex and I lived in. I feel like I am leaving him behind. A co-worker made me laugh and said: "take hime with you". She meant it literally and figuretively.

Korina, I wish you well. This is a step in the right direction.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

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Korina,

I just spent two weeks visiting with my sister who lives with her daughter and three grandchildren. This is since the daughter got divorced almost two years ago.

It seems to work out really well for each of them. I will say, it is a large house they are living in, so they are not on top of each other.

Good luck. It surely sounds like an optimal solution for everyone.

DeeGee

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Korina,

I didn't realize that we lost our spouses so close together. It will be 5 months on the 23rd of November that I lost Pat. I too have been having some really bad days recently. I keep telling myself .... one day at a time and baby steps but it is so hard.

I think it is wonderful that you have such a caring family. If the move will help with Kailyn (I love her name) and would eliminate alot of your stress, I say go for it. You sound like you are able to make some very important decisions that are going to have a positive outcome for you and your daughter. I know that it will be hard to leave the home that you shared with Scott but you will take all the memories with you. New memories will be made but Scott will always be there no matter where you live.

Korina, I will be praying for you and I know Scott will be with you helping with your decisions. He is still watching out for you and Kailyn as I know Pat is watching out for me and my son.

Take care,

Kat

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Thank you, everyone!

Today was quiet. I went to a small civic tree planting ceremony this morning that, during my civic political life, I had attended - one of my favorites. It was very nice, though the weather was crappy. It has been very nice to have such invitations extended, and I appreciate having found support from some of the folks at city hall. These invitations have helped me re-engage in something I enjoyed, and of which Scott was terribly proud.

While there, I chatted with some employees, and got some political/beaurocratic scoop. The kinds of things I would have run home or called Scott and discussed. We could work ourselves up into a frenzy. I really miss that. I have no one to talk to now who understands like he did.

The rest of the day, I just took it easy. I had considered going to the restaurant to hear my friend sing. However, her in-laws, who own the restaurant, weren't going to be there, as her father-in-law is having health issues. He and his wife were/are like surrogate parents to both Scott and myself, and in hearing he was having a bad day, I just didn't feel like going.

Aside from that, while sad, the day has just been quiet. I have 2 candles burning, and a white antherium in a vase (pink antheriums were my wedding flowers - hee hee - I gotta tell you why they were perfect for our wedding....the lady from Hawaii who was arranging things on that end as we got married in Hawaii, called them the penis flowers - hope it is okay to print that...and Scott was such a joker!).

Thanks all for being here.

Korina

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