One Holiday Down ..... One More To Go!

[Kat2005]

Well here we are. One holiday down and one more to go. I made it through Christmas thanks to friends, family and this site. It really helped that everyone kept me so busy yesterday. Some of my family members honored Pat by making donations to the Prostate Cancer Foundation in his name for Christmas and for his birthday which is Monday the 28th Although it brought tears it also brought comfort to know that he was remembered during the holidays.

I am actually having a harder time today. I know it sounds crazy ..... I guess it is that everything is over and I am once again alone with just my thoughts and memories. I just get so upset because I feel robbed of a life that should have been. I look at my son, although he is actually a young man and think of the father/son relationship that he will never have. He is at the age where he and his dad would have enjoyed hanging out together, playing golf or just watching football. He is now in his first year of Medical School and I know his dad is watching over him and has a huge smile on his face. He was one proud dad.

I'm sorry I just needed to vent to someone. Sometimes I need to throw myself a pity party. I just miss him so much it makes me crazy!

Once again, thanks for listening.

Kat

[Babs11]

Hi, Kat

My husband died of a Massive Heart Attack on August 10th, 09. This has been so overwhelming. I had to work today a 12hr shift and all day long all I could think about was my husband (I do everyday).. but like you said today seems worse than yesterday..I just wanted to cry..They had music on and was almost to much...I feel so bad for everyone feeling this kind of grief..I feel robbed to..my husband was 43 yrs old and the love of my life and best friend.

I completely understand how you feel. I hope you have a peaceful evening.

Love and Peace.

Babs (my husbands' nickname for me)

[derby]

Yesterday was sad for me as well. I pushed to get on with Xmas eve and then Xmas day. Yesterday was just a quiet day, took a much needed nap, late dinner, walmart and finished a book. Just relieved it's over. Maybe the sadness was the fact I had sometime alone for reflecting and feeling. All I know is that it was there. Blessings, Debbie

Babs,

I am so sorry for your loss. As I have posted many times, the folks on here are so wonderful to have to walk through this journey with.

[kath]

There has always been sadness after Christmas is over for me. I'm physically exhausted and I'm not done yet. Bob's family gathers today. We got the snow I'd hoped for. I had forgotten all the work that comes with it! It is beautiful and isolating and the exact thing that makes me think of Bob.

Congratulations on getting through this week. It is an incredibly difficult journey and one that absolutely requires the strength of friends and family. You are all so very special!

Kath

[LindaKoz]

I'm sending love and hugs to you all. Christmas was very difficult but somehow I made it through. I spent most of yesterday by myself which was actually much needed. I'm still working on a project for Seminary so I spent a lot of time creating Worship Services. It's somewhat comforting but also requires focus which comes and goes. I do want to thank you all for the continued love and support. The burden is lighter when shared with friends. You are all in my thoughts and prayers on this day and the days ahead.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

[Babs11]

Linda,

I have seen your entries and I know you a very spiritual and I believe you said you are or becoming a minister?

I am spiritual and since the death of my husband who was 43yrs old (and a very strong man with a strong presence)

I have a had a few "unusual" things happen..kind of unbelievable..but this helps me Know there is more than this life.

Today I am having doubts and scared and wondering where my husband is and is he ok.. and does he feel sad and so on....I know you have no definite answers for there being an "after life" but do you have any inspiring words or ideas about this? Having slight "panic attacks" today..I can't believe he is gone..I see him EVERYWHERE.

Babs.

[LindaKoz]

Hi Babs,

I'm currently a Seminary student. Planning to become either a Pastor or a Chaplain. I'll continue to follow God's lead. I have faith that there is an afterlife. It's God's promise to us and I believe God is a keeper of promises. I don't know what heaven is going to look or feel like but I believe we will be in God's presence and surrounded by peace and love always. What helped me after Brian passed away was exploring Romans 8:26-39. My professor directed me to this passage of hope. What I found is that even when we have no words to pray, the Holy Spirit sighs (or groans) and the heart-searching God knows exactly what we need to pray. And there is the promise that absolutely nothing can ever separate us from the love of God and Jesus Christ. I know that when Brian was dying I sat there not knowing what to say, do, think, or pray. I found comfort learning that God knew even though I had no words. I believe with all of my heart and soul that when I am called home by God Brian will be waiting for me and we will be reunited for eternity. But, until that day I have to choose life and I have to make this decision each and every day. It's hard to walk this grief journey but I know I am not alone. I am surrouned by God's love, I have family and friends to lean on, and I have everyone on this site. When we are willing to open ourselves to others, our burden becomes just a bit lighter. I'm holding you in my prayers and sending love your way. Remember that you are not alone.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

[DeeGee]

I'm so glad Christmas is over! I guess we all got through it is all I can say.

Early in the evening on Christmas Eve I sat three fat red Christmas candles in holders on the hearth in my living room. One for my beloved husband who passed in August, one for my dear nephew who passed unexpectedly two years ago, and one for my dear father who passed in 2002. I said a small prayer as I lit each candle.

I allowed them to burn throughout that evening, overnight, and all during Christmas Day. Late that evening, I blew out each candle, again saying a prayer for each.

My own little "ceremony" - it helped me and made me feel good. I plan to do it again on New Year's Eve.

DeeGee