Private Counseling Vs Group Therapy

[Kat2005]

It will be a year on the 23rd of this month that I lost my love and I have been having a difficult time the past couple days. I was going to group therapy but that ended. It was a program that lasted a set amount of weeks. I have been saying for awhile now that I was going to look into private counseling and just haven't made the call yet. I know quite a few of you are going to private seasons and I was wondering if you feel it really helps. I have dialed the phone number a couple of times to make an appointment and have hung up each time. These last couple of days have been terrible and I feel like I am going backwards. I just don't know what to expect from a private season. I am always better in a group. Any advice is welcome.

Thanks, Kat

[STARKISS]

Hi Kat2005,

I did go to group therapy and I am also in private therapy now too, I was so nervous about going to private therapy... I emailed the therapist of the website Psychology today it was less upsetting to do that because the thought of actually talking with someone was very nerve racking to me... The email was really easy to do... Than the therapist emailed me and than she called me a few days later to set up a visit session which I was very nervous but the therapist made me feel so calm right away.. I have been seeing her since January and now I look forward to our little talks it reallydoes help me to talk with someone who really understands and does not pass judgment on me... I hope this helps Shelley

[Korina]

Kat:

The 19th is one year for me, so I am with you on that one. I have been pretty good the last while, but had a rough evening last night.

I went to private counseling right at the beginning (but have cut back mainly due to finances, and also because I don't feel the strong need at the moment). I found that with private counselling, I could say anything without fear of judgement, perhaps saying things I might not be as comfortable saying in a group. The drawback for me is that the session was within a time limit, and I usually felt like I wanted to keep talking as we wrapped up. That is one thing I don't have to worry about with this forum (this is my "group therapy"). So the 2 have brought me the balance in my grief that I believe I have needed.

One other thing; I think that most who have seen a counselor would advise that if you don't feel comfortable with the counselor you chose, don't be afraid to look for someone else.

Take care,

Korina

[Lainey]

Dear Kat,

It is almost six months for me and I decided it was time to seek help from a professional. Being a private person I chose individual sessions versus the group sessions because I am not ready to share some things. The lady I went to see was wonderful, we talked about whatever I needed or wanted to. As much as I love my family, there are things that go unsaid and they become the basis of hurt or worse. With Pat I was able to vent about those things and not feel guilty.

I do agree with Korina, one on one time goes very quickly and it feels like you just got started when your time is up.Now I make notes for the important stuff so I don't forget to talk about those things.

I am planning on going to the group sessions in the fall, they run for only five weeks but in that time I hope to learn a few things. They also sponsor a coffee meet once a week, which I am looking forward to. Knowing that I will meet other people in our unique situation is good. At least these people will know not to ask inappropriate questions, I find some friends don't think before they ask you something. Usually if they would stop and think, they would know that the question shouldn't be asked.

Hugs,

Lainey

[closs86]

HI Kat

I also went to group counseling, I went to a few, because most were offered by churches in the area and the sessions were once a month, I found one group that i like, but I also will start one on one, it is good to be able to talk to someone, Always good when it is someone that understands what you are feeling and expressing, it does really help, even coming here helps me, because everyone knows what you are talking about, especially when you are having a bad day.

Make sure you are comfortable with the therapist as everyone said, that is important.

Wishing you well

Karen

[Billw]

It will be a year on the 23rd of this month that I lost my love and I have been having a difficult time the past couple days. I was going to group therapy but that ended. It was a program that lasted a set amount of weeks. I have been saying for awhile now that I was going to look into private counseling and just haven't made the call yet. I know quite a few of you are going to private seasons and I was wondering if you feel it really helps. I have dialed the phone number a couple of times to make an appointment and have hung up each time. These last couple of days have been terrible and I feel like I am going backwards. I just don't know what to expect from a private season. I am always better in a group. Any advice is welcome.

Thanks, Kat

Kat, I have tried both. For me personally I feel like I am getting more out of the one on one for now. I have a friend that went through some pretty traumatic situations years ago and he gave me a piece of advice that I took to heart. He told me either you can get going on this now or wait 23 years like he did and suffer longer, it's up to you. I have had some experience with counseling years ago for other issues and found that if I don't feel the connection after a visit or two, move on until you are comfortable with the person you are working with. The pro's can only work with what we give them so if I'm as honest and open as I can be I seem to benefit the most. That is another reason some do better with one on one, they might not be as open in a group. Any way you go, I don't think we can go wrong when we ask for help or extend our hand to others to try to help. BW

[Queeniemary]

Kat, I have not tried either group or one on one. I am thinking about one on one however. Michael will be gone 5 months on the 19th. I feel like I am coping pretty well some days, but others are not so good. I seem to be tired a lot, and not wanting to do things. I do have a small group (3 of us) who have lost our spouses during this past year, very good friends for years, and we get together once a month, watch a movie, eat, and talk. That does help, however, I think I may need more than that. I have always been very strong, and really thought I would not need therapy, however now I am not so sure. I hate feeling so lethargic (spelling?). My problem is that this is a small town (about 10,000). I grew up here, and know a lot of people, and am not sure I will feel comfortable with someone here. I may look toward Branson, which is only about 35 to 40 minutes away.

I am making my first "solo" trip this weekend. I am going to my youngest son's stepdaughter's wedding in Missouri. It is a 5 hour trip, that I have ridden many times, but Michael did all the driving, so it will be a new experience for me to drive myself. I am a little nervous.

I really thought by now I would be past the need for any type of therapy, but I think I am wrong, and that I probably should have looked into it much sooner. I am on vacation next week, and think I will explore my options.

Good luck Kat.

Mary in Arkansas (Queeniemary)

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

I know that alot of you are thinking about going to private therapy sessions and think how expensive they are...Well I actually was planning to see another therapist but she was alot of money and she told me to think about seeing her student therapist and I agreed... The student therapist I saw was six months from graduating and she was 40 dollars cheaper a session... I found the student therapist new what she was talking about and she also was supervised by a real therapist so if there was a problem she could ask the supervising therapist what to do... After the therapist I have graduated she still charged me the same because she knew I could not afford the big expensive fee... Maybe people should check out different therapist on Psychology today... Psychology today as a listing of therapist for all over the world and has what areas they are special in and what there fees are.... I hope this helps...Shelley

[Kat2005]

I just want to thank everyone for their advice, now it is up to me and I think I will make the call.

Thanks again,

Kat

[Kat2005]

Queeniemary,

I recently ventured out on my own when I went to my cousin's. It was only a 2-1/2 hour trip but I had never done it alone. I filled up the car, charged my cell phone and put a picture of Pat on the front seat next to me and asked him to get me there safely. I made it with no problems and I know you can too. They may not be with us physically but I know that they are still watching out for us and keeping us safe.

Have a good trip and stay safe.

Kat

[Cheryl]

I attend a group therapy for families. The kids are in small groups based on age and the adults are in small groups based on their type of loss. Some of us lost spouses, some children. But we all have heartache in common. What I love about group is that you realize you are not crazy and their is strange comfort in being with and sharing with others who are feeling similar. it is also wonderful to see the growth each person goes through. But most of all I walk away feeling like I might have been able to help someone else survive the pain. Don't be afraid to try everything. You've already been through the worst experience possible!