Boys Off To College And Now House Is Completely Empty

[laurieb]

My husband passed 15 months ago and my boys are at welcome week at college. One is in charge and a senior and the other is just starting as a freshman. The both chose the same college and the are so excited. I am so proud of them. Leaving work the other day and heading home was so unbelievably hard. No one to call, no one waiting for me, no best friend. I hate it. As I write this I realize so many have had this since the beginning and i am blessed to have my boys around. I'm just truly struggling now and find myself going to bed at 7pm. I don't want to start over! I don't want to push myself - we were so happy and I hate my life right now ? Sorry

Laurie

[Kat2005]

Laurie,

I was fortunate that my son came home from college two weeks before Pat passed. Somehow I think Pat knew this. It was a comfort to have him around. He was accepted into a program for Med School and was gone for the past 4 weeks. Coming home to an empty house really sucks. I had never been totally alone before. I just tried to keep myself busy every night and before I went to bed I would write in my journal and tell Pat about my day. That has brought me much comfort.

Are the boys close enough that they will be able to come home on weekends?

I will keep you in my prayers. Take care, Kat

[mlg]

I don't know if either of you has a pet, but our dog died 18 mos after Tom and I went through the emptiness you talk about. Then someone rescued a little black cocker and old softy here ended up keeping him. He is the best thing that has happened to me in the last 18 mos. His unconditional love and excitement to see me brightens my day.

[Kat2005]

mlg,

I do have a dog. He is alot of company. He just turned 18 years old. I have been fortunate to have him this long. I can't imagine the day when I lose him too.

Kat

[Mrs. B]

Hi Laurieb

My son came to live with when rick passed away. So at first i was not alone. It was great having him here. He made a decision last October to go to college for a trade. He asked if i was mad at him. How could I be. He was there when i needed him. Seven months with him here was better then being by myself. It was hard a first but im getting use to it. I try to keep myself busy. Sometimes to busy. Right now im in a bummer mood because both my son and daughter were here for a couple of days and it was great having them home but they had to get back to school and jobs. But again it was good having them here for those couple days. I have three cats. Two of which were ricks sucks and the third my son left with me cause with school and work it wouldn't be fare for her. So they keep my company and amused. Dont hate your life. It does get better. I know that it sound cliche because that is what everyone would say to me and I had my doubts about it and humored them but it does even though now it dosent seem like it. There will be better days ahead. Take care. Mrs. B

[sunstreet]

Laurie,

I am sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. I just want to say that you need not apologize for hating your life right now. I hate my life right now too. It is that hugh emptiness, the big whole, I totally relate. It is my belief that feelings are not subject to judgement, they just are. Courage to you.

Sunstreet.

[Korina]

I have to admit that even though Kailyn is only 17 months old, I already dread the day when she leaves home....

Korina

[niamh]

My husband passed 15 months ago and my boys are at welcome week at college. One is in charge and a senior and the other is just starting as a freshman. The both chose the same college and the are so excited. I am so proud of them. Leaving work the other day and heading home was so unbelievably hard. No one to call, no one waiting for me, no best friend. I hate it. As I write this I realize so many have had this since the beginning and i am blessed to have my boys around. I'm just truly struggling now and find myself going to bed at 7pm. I don't want to start over! I don't want to push myself - we were so happy and I hate my life right now ? Sorry

Laurie

Laurie,

My heart goes out to you, so sorry about your husband and this horrible pain you have now. I am 35, only child and still live at home. I've never been so glad to still be at home, my Dad was my Mom's world and vice versa and I really don't think she would survive this if I was not at home. There is no place I'd rather be. I know I am such a lifeline for her these days. My heart keeps on breaking everyday knowing he won't walk thru the door at 6pm and seeing my Mom sitting all alone watching tv with the empty chair next to her.

She is all I live for now and I would do absolutely anything for her. I will never leave her alone, if by some chance I was ever to get married, well it's a package deal now, she is my number 1 priority and I could not imagine ever ever not living with her.

we both hate our lives right now, neither of us having much hope for happiness etc.

My Mom and I do talk about our grief every so often but reading the posts on here from each of you missing your partners, husbands, just gives me a little more insight into her grief and I am grateful for that.

I can say I have never ever had so much patience with my Mom no matter what.

sending you all hugs, love and peace,

niamh