MZM Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Its 6 weeks since the accident and Zubeirs passing and memories are killing me:( Every night I dream of him, every morning I wake up losing him and face another memory. This morning, it was the weekend we spent with my parents at a game reserve-one of our best holidays...i remember every smile and ever little detail...but it hurts so much that i have to stop myself... Yesterday, it was about when he used to shave - i would rub my cheeks against his and call him baby-bum-skin... Everyday theres some memory/memories that i havent thought of in a while that I'd now think about - the little memories and little things...i miss him so much! Now theres somthing else - im a senior manager at the company i work for...and during my grief, i applied for a gap year job in the states...I got the call yesterday to say that both my sister and i are in (we're both under 29 years of age)... BUT! My mom has acute asthma how can we leave her? I know that my father, friends and family are also not happy at the fact that Ill come back and have to start from scratch again when right now im reaching a peek of my career… And theres my adopted sister (4 years old)... If i leave, Im leaving EVERYTHING and EVERYONE - thats huge:( Worst of all is that Im leaving Zubeir:( our life together is here....and i still feel like i have a part of it....call it denial, but once im on that plane, its officially Goodbye:( But, if I dont go, I cant get away from this hurt...plus the memories are killing me. I pass his house every day, pass the cemetery ever day - im dying inside. The only thing that there is to look forward to is this new thing of going... Im so torn… My boss also thinks I shouldnt go...HELP PLEASE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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